"Ronaldo has always been like that, selfish and an individualist on the pitch and Real Madrid signed him like that" -- Spanish sports broadcaster Sara Carbonero lays into the Real winger. She also happens to be the girlfriend of his team-mate, Iker Casillas.
"He's not a Robinho. He's a big lad, he gets around the pitch, he can tackle, he can pass it and play. He's a box-to-box midfield player. Maybe an Abou Diaby-type from Arsenal. A big rangy type of player. A Patrick Vieira-type player perhaps. He looks like Socrates" -- Harry Redknapp covers all the angles as he enthuses about new signing Sandro.
"We didn't win at Blackburn -- hard luck. We didn't win at Wolves -- hard luck. We couldn't beat Villa -- hard luck. There's no point blowing smoke up each other's bums. We're just not producing." -- Phil Neville launches a Keano-style rocket towards his Everton team-mates.