You pay peanuts and you get monkeys. Or in Hearts' case, you struggle to pay your players and the owner blames the monkeys.
The controversial Vladimir Romanov is on yet another colourful collision course with the Scottish FA after his latest outburst.
The Lithuanian-based businessman accused the SFA of bowing to pressure by the media when issuing its warning over players' unpaid wages -- which were paid this week -- and Romanov attacked the Old Firm "mafia" and media "monkeys".
"The monkeys tricked the SPL, fans and themselves and showed who is in charge of the football mafia," read Romanov's statement.
"The progress is there. As soon as Hearts moved closer to the third spot, the monkeys start to squeal, lie and create conspiracy plots.
"The only thing left for the club to do is to develop its own youth and attempt to enlighten people who have been deceived and held as part of a stupid crowd by Mowgli."