17 quotes from Brendan Rodgers that will make you cringe
In the immediate aftermath of Liverpool's lacklustre scoreless draw at the Hawthorns on Saturday, Brendan Rodgers surprised nobody with his post-game analysis.
"I thought we were excellent. We didn't get the win, but our overall game was outstanding," he said.
Nobody else who witnessed the 'spectacle' felt the same way. Liverpool were lacking in creativity, lacking in tempo and lacking in belief. They were anything but 'excellent', far away from being 'outstanding'.
But nobody's shocked by Rodgers' quips anymore. His early comparisons to David Brent seemed harsh at first, but he doesn't do anything to help himself in this regard when talking to the media.
Here are the 17 most cringe-worthy Rodgers quotes since he's become Liverpool boss.
"My biggest mentor is myself because I've had to study and that's been my biggest influence."
Okay, if that doesn't sound like a line written by Ricky Gervais for David Brent then I don't know what does.
"I always say a squad is like a good meal. I'm not a great cook, but a good meal takes a wee bit of time. But also, to offer a good meal, you need good ingredients."
There could be a little bit of sense in that if it wasn't offered up to a room full of sports journalists who were all left trying to hide their sniggering.
"I've always worked along with the statistic that if you can dominate the game with the ball you have a 79% chance of winning the game."
Bluff if ever bluff was spoken. There is absolutely no truth to the 'fact' that you will win 79% of your games if you have more ball possession.
"When you’ve got the ball 65-70% of the time, it’s a football death for the other team. We’re not at that stage yet, but that’s what we will get to. It’s death by football. You just suck the life out of them."
Once again, Rodgers is talking nonsense. Take the West Brom game for example at the weekend. Liverpool had 74% of the ball, yet came away with the same amount of points as the Baggies. This season alone, that is the 11th Premier League game that Liverpool had most possession in but failed to win.
"Southampton don’t have to sell, they have a choice. Maybe their objectives have changed. They were looking to be a Champions League club, I believe."
Ouch, Rodgers flung this in the direction of Southampton after he was accused of buying too many of their players last summer. He hinted the Saints lacked ambition by selling them, yet they have matched Liverpool stride for stride all season and look likely to secure the same goal this year - Europa League qualification.
"If you spend more than £100 million, you expect to be challenging for the league."
Another quip that's come back to haunt Rodgers. He said this about Spurs during the 2013-14 season after they sold Gareth Bale and spent over £100m reinforcing the squad. They failed to compete for the title. One year later, Rodgers sells Luis Suarez, spends over £100m reinforcing the squad, and - oh no - they suffer the exact same fate as Spurs.
"I will leave no stone unturned in my quest – and that quest will be relentless."
Yep, cringeworthy. 'Relentless' and 'no stone unturned', why didn't he finish it off with '...and I will give it my all'?
"I use a quote with the players,'Per aspera ad astra', which is Latin for ‘through adversity to the stars’."
That's probably why your players haven't been carrying out your orders Brendan. They are thinking 'WTF!'
“The best players want to play in the best competition. Any club will suffer the same when they’re not in there. It will hurt you, and United will know that.”
Rodgers had a pop at Manchester United last May after the Red Devils failed to qualify for the Champions League. He said they wouldn't be able to buy the best players. Unfortunately Radamel Falcao, Angel Di Maria, Ander Herrera and Daley Blind didn't agree with him, while Rodgers' Champions League qualifiers could only manage to snap up Southampton's ‘assets’.
"I think there’s three players who will let us down this year — the cause, the fight, everything – and I have written them down already in these three envelopes. Make sure you are not in one of the envelopes."
Total cringe; moreso because it came straight out of Alex Ferguson's autobiography. Not original, not cool.
"I started coaching for one reason and that was to make a difference for people, not just as footballers but as human beings."
Surely he even cringed when he muttered this one in 2013.
"I’ve always said that you can live without water for many days, but you can’t live for a second without hope."
Okay - Ricky Gervais certainly had something to do with this.
"It was a perfect away performance, apart from the first 10 minutes."
"We play with 11 men, other teams play with 10 men and a goalkeeper."
Sigh. It's not even funny anymore!
"I don't think there is anyone better, that is the reality of how I see it."
Rodgers doesn't even think Pep Guardiola or Jose Mourinho could do a better job than him at Anfield. Didn't David Brent feel the exact same way about his Office manager position?
"Three months ago I was a tactical genius."
Fair enough, Rodgers had his tongue in his cheek and was pointing out what journalists and pundits were saying about him three months ago. Except they weren't. The nearest match Rodgers had been involved in three months to the day he uttered the above sentence was when Liverpool drew 0-0 with Championship side Bolton and put on a totally lacklustre display.
"When we lose I don't get too disappointed in the same way that when we win I don't get too carried away."
Nobody get's more carried away when Liverpool win. After their 1-0 victory over Swansea just nine weeks ago, Rodgers proclaimed: "We can finish second now." Ooops!