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'It was a level of pain I’d never felt before' - rugby star James Tracy on the 'freak accident' that ended his career

In his first interview since retiring, former Leinster hooker talks about the ‘freak accident’ that ended his career

Former Leinster player James Tracy: "The flip side is I’ve loved every minute of my career. I’ve had a way better innings than I could ever have dreamed of." Photo: Sportsfile

Leinster and Ireland rugby player James Tracy who announced his retirement from the game due to injury, photographed at his home in Dublin.Picture Credit:Frank McGrath

Former Leinster player James Tracy: "The flip side is I’ve loved every minute of my career. I’ve had a way better innings than I could ever have dreamed of." Photo: Sportsfile

Leinster and Ireland rugby player James Tracy who announced his retirement from the game due to injury, photographed at his home in Dublin.Picture Credit:Frank McGrath

Former Leinster player James Tracy: "The flip side is I’ve loved every minute of my career. I’ve had a way better innings than I could ever have dreamed of." Photo: Sportsfile

Sinead Kissane Twitter

January 13 2023 02:30 AM

James Tracy had seen this happen before. He was there when other team-mates stood before the squad at Leinster to say their playing days were over, but his turn came far sooner than he ever expected.

Over three weeks ago, on the Monday before Christmas, Tracy told the Leinster players in a meeting that he couldn’t continue playing because of a neck injury sustained in April.

He got the news from a specialist a few weeks previously but wanted to wait until after Leinster’s Champions Cup games last month before telling his team-mates.

“We had two big European weeks, so I said I’d leave it until after, but it was hard coming in, living a lie for those two weeks. I said I’d just hold off and tell no one rather than tell one or two people,” Tracy tells the Irish Independent this week. “Yeah, it was really emotional. I’ve been there for a few others doing it, and every single time, you’re like, ‘Jesus, that could be me’. It’s one of the lads you really respect having to finish up early. It’s a bit surreal when you’re the one standing there having to do it yourself.”

Tracy (31) describes the injury that ended his playing career as a “freak accident”. A few weeks after what turned out to be his last game – when he came on as a sub for Dan Sheehan after 61 minutes at the Sportsground in the first leg of Leinster’s round-of-16 Champions Cup tie last April – Tracy was training with the squad in South Africa in their two-week URC stint when he got the injury.

“It was in a training session during the last scrum of the session. The pain started then. It was a level of pain I’d never felt before.

“My back just kind of went into spasm. I was in really bad pain for a good few days. It didn’t really subside and then kind of got worse from there.

“I obviously knew it was serious pretty quickly. Trying to practise throwing over the following months was really an indicator of the lack of progress and lack of strength that I could get out of my right arm. I remember just plugging away and thinking that people who’ve been through long-term injuries before kind of take every day as it comes and get on with it. That was kind of the mindset I took.”

Tracy was in the final year of his current Leinster contract but was sure he had another few years in him. But this injury was a bulging disc which caused nerve damage. Then came the final outcome of the meeting with the specialist. “It was emotional, disappointing. You’ve a million different feelings. It was probably not as final as telling the team but almost as bad.”

Since his retirement was made public in a Leinster statement on Thursday, December 22, Tracy has found the last few weeks “more difficult than I would have anticipated”.

Christmas was a welcome distraction with his family – wife Ashley, their son Bay (19 months) and daughter Riley (six weeks old). Tracy got the news he had to retire the morning after Riley was born.

He watched Leinster beat Munster on St Stephen’s Day at home. He’s been trying to figure out if being forced to retire makes it easier or harder to take.

“To be honest, I’ve played with that around in my head and almost think it’s nearly better out of your control because at least it was final. It wasn’t like it was dragged out and at least I wasn’t trying to squeeze the last few months or years out of my career where I was falling off a cliff in terms of form. There are pros and cons to it all.

“I didn’t want to finish my career yet and was so excited for the prospect of being involved or even having an opportunity to be involved this season and potentially have two finals in the Aviva, all going well.

“It’s been a huge few years with this group and we’ve come a long way and probably fallen short a few times. I thought this year could have been the year to have a big year for silverware. That probably makes it a little harder as well.

“It’s an unconscious feeling of maybe mourning your career and identity. But the flip side is I’ve loved every minute of my career. I’ve had a way better innings than I could ever have dreamed of.

“I remember doing a trial in Terenure College and scrummaging against Marty Moore (Tracy used to play at prop) and having a really tough time and thinking, ‘This isn’t for me. I’m never going to make it’.

“I was about 17 or 18. If I had gone back and told 18-year-old me the journey I would go on, I would have laughed. So, from that point of view, I had an unbelievable career and got to play with some of the best.”

How’s his injury now?

“I wouldn’t say everything’s perfect, but at the same time, I’m unbelievably well looked after and Leinster have done everything to set you up to be good, even when you’re finished. I will be fine, but it’s more that I gave myself a bit of a break when I finished up at the gym. I just need to get back into a good routine of exercising and I’ll start feeling a lot better.”

The final tally shows that Tracy won 141 caps for Leinster and six caps for Ireland in a career over 10 seasons.

He rates their Champions Cup and PRO14 double in 2018 as a special highlight. He doesn’t blame rugby for how the game finished for him.

“It was definitely a freak accident, and unfortunately, the nature of the game is that it’s a contact sport and injuries are going to happen. In fairness to World Rugby, they’re always trying to find new ways to make the game safer. And at the end of the day, all you can do is make it as safe as possible. But it’s a contact sport, and unfortunately, you’re going to get bad injuries.”

Tracy had already started part-time work with data and analytics consulting company Clear Strategy and plans to go full-time in the “near future”. He wants some time first to process the end of his playing career.

“I’m definitely very motivated to not just settle until I find something that lights that fire in some way. Nothing’s ever going to (compare) – comparing apples with oranges in terms of professional sport versus anything, really.

“So, I know nothing will ever be the same as that but finding what can get you motivated and get you excited in a different way.”

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'It was a level of pain I’d never felt before' - rugby star James Tracy on the 'freak accident' that ended his career

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