Tuesday 17 July 2018

'It's perfect' - Cristiano Ronaldo meets semi-naked silicon dummy of himself on promo tour

The real one is on the left
The real one is on the left

Cristiano Ronaldo came face to face with a life-sized silicon dummy model of himself while promoting his new... whatever it is these things are, in Japan and seemed to be impressed with the latest edition to brand CR7. Even though it looks like it has just been informed that its house has burned down.

 The 30-year-old was in Tokyo to raise awareness of his electric muscle stimulator and gave his approval of the dummy - created after a 3D scan of his body using 110 micro cameras - after meeting it.

"It's perfect", said Ronaldo (genuinely), wiping away a tear (not genuinely).

While clearly impressive and capable of moving its face thanks to animatronic bits inside it, the dummy in question looks to me like as soon as everyone leaves the room it breaks down crying. Then when someone comes back in to pick up their jacket and asks if its OK, it replies, "oh yeh, yeh, yeh I'm totally fine, enjoy your jacket!".

Ronaldo also appeared on Japanese TV as part of his marketing campaign and gleefully accepted a request to show off his abs, allowing people on the show to poke and touch him to their excitement.

Other celebrities on the show told the chiselled adonis, "your face is so small", but meant it in a nice way as it is - apparently - a compliment to foreigners in Japan to have a small face.

 "I hit the gym after training every day, sure. But I do about 300 sit-ups a day", Ronaldo told an excited audience.

"But with this device you're promoting, which I'm pretty sure I saw advetised in the 80s, surely you don't have to do 300 sit-ups a day! That would make it just... you know... an unneccessary addition to your already impressive workout routine which gives the impression I don't actually need to any sort of exercise in order to look like you!", said an imaginary member of the crowd.

Ronaldo stared, before employing all his cunning and shouting, "... LOOK BEHIND YOU!", followed by the noise of running footsteps, a closed door, and the ignition on a car.

Online Editors

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