Tuesday 12 December 2017

'Footballers these days often have to use their feet': The punditry genius of Michael Owen

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 8: Michael Owen (Photo by Dave Thompson/Getty Images)
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 8: Michael Owen (Photo by Dave Thompson/Getty Images)

Bless little Michael Owen, who, three years on from revealing himself as a questionable commentator on BT Sport, appears to have perfected the art of the empty one-liner.

Not a week goes by in which Owen isn't harangued by fans on social media for his television performances. Hearing of PSG striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic's demand for a £600,000-a-week wage if he signed for a Premier League club, Owen lamented the fact he missed out on making such wealth. This, of course, is the same Michael Owen who reportedly earned £133,000 per week at Newcastle, who at one point during his Stoke City season had earned £7,000 per minute played, and who has made a vast wealth outside of football in racehorses and advertising.

Still, it's not the most hilarious thing he has said since taking up the microphone. Here's a select few...

"It's a good run, but it's a poor run, if you know what I mean?"

"Footballers these days often have to use their feet"

“They’re outswarming them!”

"Alderweireld played really well last year for Tottenham, let's hope he can transfer that form to Spurs this season"

"He’s elbowed him in the head but there’s nothing in it for me"

“That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post"

"You have to believe your own eyes, don’t you?”

"It's hit the facial part of his head, there"

"To score a goal, for me, you need two headers"

"That's a fantastic penalty, but he'll be gutted it went wide"

"What a shot! That's completely unstoppable, but the keeper's got to do better for me"

"I knew it, I knew it! I was going to say Balotelli would score but I didn't"

"When they don't score, they hardly ever win"

"Do they deserve the win? No, Liverpool do. Which is why a draw is a fair result"


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