Sport LeftField

Thursday 18 January 2018

Barnsley supporter rescued after falling asleep in stadium toilets for SEVEN hours

A Barnsley fan learned the hard way that drinking lots of beers and then falling asleep on a toilet is not a good way to spend an evening, as firefighters had to rescue him from Oakwell stadium at 11pm on Saturday night.

The supporter fell asleep on the toilet during half-time of Barnsley's defeat to Fleetwood Town and alerted emergency services to his predicament by accidentally triggering security alarms as he awoke from his beer induced toilet coma.

Having woken up without his shoes, on a toilet, the situation became instantly worse when the supporter discovered he had also misplaced his mobile phone and was unable to contact the outside world for help.

A Barnsley Fire Station spokesperson told the Yorkshire Post:

“We got the call through to attend Oakwell and usually its just a false alarm but we turned up and saw this young lad on top of the portakabin trying to get our attention.

“We had to get the ladder to get him down. He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his hat.

“He was more bothered about his hat though, he seemed a smartly dressed lad.”

The man informed his rescuers that he had enjoyed "a few beers" before the match, went to the toilet and then suddenly woke up at 11pm on Saturday night with no way of understanding what had happened.

Scientists believe the beers consumed pre-match and the events which unfolded at Oakwell may be linked. They are also saddened to announce that they are still no closer to identifying why mobile phones are the most difficult thing to locate in the known universe when any amount of alcohol is involved. And house keys.

The most distressing thing about the entire story though is surely the lack of detail. At what point between leaving his seat and getting to the toilet did this gentleman lose his shoes? When was the last time you have ever seen anyone take off their shoes in a football stadium? And when was the last time anyone has ever taken their shoes off to go to the toilet? In a football stadium?

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