Imagine a scenario where you are a publisher, pitched the following story of a rugby season: a World Cup, the first in Asia, where local weather costs 74 people their lives and blows three games off course, causing wholesale controversy about the wisdom of having the tournament there at that time of year.
It is followed soon after by England and Europe's champion club being financially hobbled for cheating, and then chucked into that country's Championship, their second division.
For good measure the (English) RFU follows up soon after by tearing the backside out of their funding of that competition, rendering it more paddling pool that backwater.
The season rolls on with the Six Nations where France, the least reliable team in the 10 years since their last Grand Slam, shaping up as likely champions with a young team assembled with the 2023 World Cup in mind.
By the time their train is derailed in Edinburgh, home of the almost equally unreliable Scots, a health and safety issue is presenting itself as an epidemic heading for pandemic status.
Soon enough all around us is carnage: the Six Nations exits stage left with four matches outstanding, two of which involve Ireland.
The Pro 14, Champions Cup and Premier League put themselves in self-isolation. Below them, in the amateur tiers, the leagues bypass postponement and drive straight to cancel.
The truism that every crisis presents someone with an opportunity has an ironic feel to it here.
For that someone is World Rugby, the once all-powerful body who have been seriously spooked over the last year by the emergence of private equity firm CVC.
It's like having a burglar case your joint and leaving a business card when he's at it. Then, just as the fabric of your game is coming apart at the seams, salvation presents itself.
By now the situation truly is desperate. USA rugby are filing for bankruptcy and the Australia Rugby Union – a body who always struggle to make ends meet – admit that they are in dire straits.
While in this part of the world, Ireland and Scotland rugby staff are taking pay deferrals, which is not a million miles away from being forced into saving, the Aussies are sending everyone home for two months and, in the darkest scenario, budgeting for a loss of €68m if Super Rugby, the Rugby Championship and incoming tours by Ireland and Fiji don't see the light of day.
They'll have to get creative. The July Tests against our mob are all but dead in the water, floating face down alongside Fiji.
Despite talk of fitting them in later in the year it's impossible to see that gap opening.
As for Super Rugby, the Australians, New Zealanders and South Africans will likely have to fill to TV content with domestic bliss to justify the broadcast money they are drawing down.
So the Western Force get dragged back into a competition with the Reds, Waratahs, Brumbies and Rebels. Another version of Home and Away, if you like.
Meantime in this jurisdiction there are so many balls in the air it's not safe to go outside.
Even so, there is a unique harmony now evident among the various factions to reach some agreement on the calendar.
The players are due back to their provinces for pre-season, if we can call it that, on 18 May. If they are back up and running with Pro14 by mid-June then that would be a result.
Where that would lead is hard to work out, because there won't be a queue around the block of lads who want to fly to Italy or South Africa to complete fixtures.
As it stands it's impossible to complete that competition without compromising its integrity.
You would expect EPCR to waive their right to exclusivity when their games are on – currently the other competitions stop on Champions Cup weekends – but that doesn't get around the travel issue.
Rather, the less travel the better.
So don't be surprised if we end up with an interprovincial championship in this country to fill the gap until it's safe to venture far from home.
And don't be surprised either if the search is called off trying to find room at the end of the season for Ireland's games with Australia. This is where World Rugby need to wade in and write a few cheques.
It's worth bearing in mind that their profit from the World Cup had been budgeted for other stuff. But life gets in the way, and this is genuinely a game-changer.
So, broker a deal whereby there is a profit-share between host and away teams from the November series around Europe, if it goes ahead.
The Southern Hemisphere sides have long been agitating for this. In less tumultuous times the North have laughed out the window at them, but never opened the door. There would need to be a top-up from WR funds.
If that much comes to pass then we will already have had a full-on summer of rugby in both hemispheres, which would be another item to add to the list of the unbelievable.
Moreover it would have been an interesting way to make progress on a global season.
The question will be what shape the world will have taken by then.