'But what about the hairdressers?' I'm roaring at the telly.
Leo is doing his weekly address to the nation and announcing details of the latest phase of us exiting lockdown and easing restrictions. There are now four phases apparently, in the revised roadmap to reopening the country.
From this week on people can travel anywhere in their county or 20km from home. Retail is back open and groups of 15 people can meet outdoors and groups of six inside. Most people are back to work and pubs and restaurants are opening at the end of the month.
But not bloody hairdressers!
'So I can go to the pub for something to eat and a drink but I can't get my hair done?' I shriek once more at the telly.
Leo is looking tanned but slightly dishevelled, in a deliberate sort of way if you ask me. His hair looks a bit messy as if he too could do with a hair cut but instead is putting the needs of the nation first.
I'm not buying it. In general I have supported most of the decisions our government and NPHET have made during lockdown but how can they say it's safer for me to go to a pub and be surrounded by people who will not be wearing masks when I can't go to my hairdresser who will take all necessary precautions to protect me and themselves?
I WANT MY ROOTS DONE!
I'm fed up looking like a lunatic. Look I'd like my nails done and eyebrows too but I'm not going to be greedy. The hair would be grand for now, keep me going, give me a lift. But No Leo has decreed that it is safer for me to go have a pint than get a blow dry.
And I'm not going to lie. I've turned vicious against anyone who I suspect has had their hair done on the QT. The way I see it is, if there's rules been laid down, we all have to abide by them. Not just some of us.
The other night we bumped into an acquaintance of ours whilst out for a walk. Himself elbowed me. 'Wendy said hello to you, why didn't you say hello back?' asks Himself.
'Did you see her hair?' I spit.
He looks bewildered.
'She has just had a full set of highlights done.'
'Would you relax. Maybe she did them herself?' he replies.
Men!! 'You can't bloody well do highlights yourself! She's gone to a black market hairdresser…..and her hair is lovely' I'm practically weeping.
So fair warning - anyone I know who gets their hair done before restrictions have been lifted - you are dead to me!
That includes you Leo!