independent

Thursday 18 July 2019

This online dating thing sounds a bit crazy to be fair, but it does offer you great control!

Justine O'Mahony

I had a dream last night I was on Tinder.

I hasten to add that in the dream there was no husband, I was single and looking for a man. The only problem was nobody was swiping for me but I was swiping practically everyone.

I woke up in a lather of sweat, feeling rejected and thanking Jesus that I wasn't young, free and single anymore.

The fact I had to ask my 16 year old which way do you swipe if you like someone, makes me fear for my future should Himself ever decide to leave me. I have major problems differentiating between left and right so Tinder could end up an absolute bloody disaster for me!

I suspect the reason I dreamt about Tinder was because at least two people I know, told me this week they were dabbling. Their long term relationships had broken up and both of them said it wasn't exactly easy for women of a certain age to meet men in a safe environment.

Initially I was a bit taken aback. Easy for a Smug Married to be taken aback says you. There was a little bit of 'You CAN'T be serious about meeting someone online??'

The last time I was single was 20 years ago. Tinder didn't exist. The only dating site I can think of back then was the Knock Catholic Marriage Bureau!

But times have changed. The great wide world is so much more accessible and the more I thought about it the more I felt online dating made perfect sense.

Let's face it no one over 30 wants to frequent nightclubs, to be seen as if they're looking to be picked up. No one wants to look desperate, like they're in the Last Chance Saloon.

With online dating you're in control. You decide who you like and who you don't like, where you meet them and when. Realistically it is a far safer means of meeting a potential partner than in a nightclub, full of booze and not in your right senses.

These friends of mine, have grown thick skins though I can tell you. I heard tales of men not turning up, not looking anything like their profile pics, men ghosting them, (I had to ask what that meant nothing dirty I promise), there was a quite a few nut jobs in there too. But I guess you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

What the online dating experience has given these friends of mine is control and strength. They are able to shrug off rejection and embrace new opportunities. They've made me see you don't need to be in a relationship to be complete.

All the same, I'm taking as many tips from them as I can...just I case.

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