Thursday 22 August 2019

Does she turn into her mum at age of 31?

WEDNESDAY: I heard something on the car radio today that nearly made me crash into a tree.

The presenter was quoting from a new report that claims a woman starts evolving into her mother at the age of 31. Without making any disclosures that might lead to a cold shoulder on one of these hot summer nights, if age categories were divided up into ballparks, then the good woman would not be out of place in one that has a big red sign with the aforementioned age parked outside.

According to this groundbreaking report that will send shivers down the spines of many men, women begin liking the same music and using the same phrases as their mums from the age of 31 – and also realise that they are attracted to similar types of men!

At the risk of dismissing some researcher's hard work as a waste of time, I attended a Mary Black concert with the good woman and the MIL almost ten years ago – when the 30s were merely an age bracket on a futuristic signpost – and both ladies spent the night humming along to the same tunes. Therefore, common interests can form at any age.

However, when it comes to eating habits, the clipboard holders may be on to something.

Both ladies share a fondness for dollops of mayonnaise and the odd handful of Tayto crisps (obviously not at the same time).

Both enjoy a cup of coffee to kick start the engine in the morning, and insist on keeping 'real butter' softening in the press.

Also, just the other day I overheard the good woman tell the young lad and younger lad to 'turn off that telly and go out and play in God's sunshine', before putting her hand to her mouth and exclaiming that she sounded just like her mother. She needed to sit down straight away.

As regards having an eye for the same type of man, both have soft spots for George Clooney, Tommy Dillon from Fair City and Bressie, though the MIL's taste in men is not a topic of conversation we often cover.

In conclusion, and keeping the last revelation in mind, I think I'll lay off the after shave the next time there's a family function taking place.

Just to eliminate any chance of a conflict of interest.

New Ross Standard