This week's X Factor in 10 points

1 Gary told Johnny that his performance was like the "opening of a bad pantomime in Scarborough". So it was bizarre that Louis said that he could see Johnny doing a "lot of panto" when he was voted off the show.

2 Kitty looked like she had been kicked in the stomach when Gary delivered a killer blow. "You can't dance, babe." We all felt her pain.

3 And why does Kitty keep forgetting to put on her trousers? Or is she promoting M&S support knickers, perhaps?

4 Fame is so fickle. One minute Derry from The Risk is passing his phone number to Nicole Scherzinger, the next he's booted off the show and into obscurity forever.

5 Louis told Craig that he reminded him of a young Gary Barlow. What he really meant to say is: "Craig, you're fat, and if my memory serves me correct, so was Gary." And after Louis and Gary's rows at the weekend, we think things will only get nastier.

6 In the ongoing cleavage war between the two female judges, Tulisa triumphed last night. Her breasts were squeezed so tight that they looked like they might have been causing breathing difficulties.

7 How we would love to see what Louis is constantly doodling on his sheet of paper. His groceries list, perhaps?

8 Now that Frankie has realised that he has a snowball's chance in hell of winning the show, he's decided to start sulking like a petulant child. Not very rock'n'roll.

9 Janet insisted that she was happy performing I Want You Back but you could have fooled us. "You know, I've been told to do it, so at least I gave it a shot."

10 Kelly seems remarkably well for a woman who sounded like a 90-year-old invalid when she called into the show from her home in LA where she was convalescing last week. > Katie Byrne