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Clubs to make killing as funerals look a dead cert to bring in cash

MANY football fans are more than happy to choose the home of their favourite football club as a venue for their wedding. Others like to finish things off, so to speak, in style by having their ashes scattered on the hallowed turf of the stadium.

But now some British clubs are trying to beat the recession by hosting funerals at their stadiums, in a bid to bring in some extra cash.

Scottish Second Division side East Fife are struggling to cope financially, the lack of match-day income due to postponements from the weather making things more difficult. So the ground is now open for the dead as well as the newly wed.

"We're trying to attract weddings and funerals to our function suite as a way of making up for the fact there are no bar takings if there's no football. Matchdays are the only days when the towels come off the beer pumps," said East Fife official Sid Collumbine.

"Our good fortune is that a club director who's now retired from his job has the time to act as our groundsman.

"Volunteer workers who support the club come in and do everything from wash the kit to serve behind the bar in the social club.

"We also have two doctors and a physio who contribute their services free of charge. But the bills are continuing to come in and revenue from playing football has dried up completely."

Maybe a few more deaths in the local community will help.