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So L'Wren wasn't married and didn't have kids, but what has that got to do with anything?


Couple: L'Wren Scott and Mick Jagger were together for more than a decade. Photo: AP

Couple: L'Wren Scott and Mick Jagger were together for more than a decade. Photo: AP

Couple: L'Wren Scott and Mick Jagger were together for more than a decade. Photo: AP

'SURE, she didn't have any children, the poor woman. She wasn't even married, the poor woman.'

'Sure, he never asked her to marry him. With him more than a decade and not a sign of it.'

Notice how those observations have been made or hinted at in much of the coverage of the tragic death of L'Wren Scott? You're barely a few lines into the story and there it is. SHE WASN'T MARRIED. SHE HAD NO CHILDREN.

The implication, of course, is that this might have contributed to her suicide. The pain of not being a wife or a mother was too much to bear.

It's the old chestnut, the one that Walt Disney sold us. All women want to be rescued. Our ultimate goal in life is to find a man and become a mother.


Wanting something other than that, well, it's like society doesn't really believe you. It just assumes that bad luck meant you ended up on your own.

Yes, most women do want to become a mother, but a significant number don't. A UK study conducted by the Family Policy Studies Centre revealed that 11pc of British women actually want to remain childless.

Twice as many do so, but for more than one in every 10 women that was actually the plan all along. It would be interesting to see a similar study in Ireland.

All of those childless, unmarried women are happy with their lives and the choices that they've made, despite society telling them that they have to learn to live with childlessness.

Having the xx chromosomes doesn't automatically mean you need to have a baby or that you have the mothering instinct that we hear so much about.

I guess that when someone takes their life tragically we go to extreme lengths to come up with reasons why they did what they did. Often there isn't one single reason or even a whole lot of obvious reasons.

Perhaps a series of sometimes unrelated events, experiences, influences, societal expectations and thought processes mean some people believe in that moment that they and everyone around them would be better off if they took their life.

I don't know L'Wren Scott, but anyone who gets into a relationship with Mick Jagger surely doesn't expect marriage?

It's not like she would have been strung along. She would have known that it was never on the cards. Surely if a smart, powerful, privileged, beautiful woman really wanted to get married, she could.


It appears Scott had financial problems. That, perhaps, and not her childless status, might have contributed to this tragedy.

Suicide is deeply traumatic and difficult for everyone to understand. That is why we want some sort of narrative to explain it. But sometimes nothing can.

Either way, we should never resort to the simplistic line that a woman would take her life because she wasn't married or didn't have children.