"WHAT we are witnessing is a top-down engineered financial crash, cleverly designed so as to shear the wealth from the masses, and to cripple our country under inescapable debt to such an extent that we have no choice but to sell off our national assets."
Have a guess who came out with this impassioned, but bonkers, take on our financial crisis? A bankrupted businessman? A maverick economist? Nope, these words come from Ireland's favourite pop goblin, Jim Corr.
Luckier
While the Corr sisters have been busy with family lives and solo careers, Jim -- who's had it far luckier than any short, balding, bespectacled lad from Dundalk has any right to expect -- has been developing his own particular brand of crazy.
But Jim's imploring for the masses to rise, shut down Dublin city and defeat the 'Elite International Bankers' trying to take over the world, wasn't just another airing of his endearingly bonkers conspiracy theories. It was an offensive rant from a man whose hypocrisy defies belief.
Rogues
Sure, the reckless way that people ran banks is the major cause of our woes. But the property speculators who took the banks' money during the good times, and are now unwilling to pay it back, are a huge contributing factor. And that rogues gallery contains a certain Jim Corr.
Contrary to what you might think from his anti-capitalist ranting, Jim was not averse to riding the property boom himself. And one of his investments, a plot of land in Kilkenny that he and a partner bought with a €1.3m loan back in 2004, is currently the subject of litigation by ACC, who is still attempting to get its loan repaid, six years on.
A solicitor's firm has attempted numerous times to serve Jim a summons, but have complained that he's been deliberately avoiding them, so they've had to seek special dispensation to post it to him.
Perhaps this idea of a bank wanting to get its money back is another of Jim's 'capitalist-led conspiracies'?
"Many people will continue their attacks, and I can take it," says Jim, "but bear in mind that an attack on me is an attack on the free-thinking people of this country."
Egomaniacal
No it's not Jim -- an attack on you is an attack on pampered, egomaniacal millionaires who are so used to being surrounded by yes-men that you've lost touch with reality, and turned into the shameless nutjob you now are.
I'm glad you can take the abuse, Jim, because you truly deserve it.
IT'S been a good week for Green Party TD Paul Gogarty because, by his standards, being in the press constitutes a good week.
And in an interview yesterday, he was allowed to justify the bringing of his young daughter to a press conference last week with his own patented brand of fatuous bollox.
The inescapable fact is that if Gogarty is even half as politically-astute as he thinks he is, he'll have foreseen the mileage he'd get from the event in question.
The picture of him is of the doting dad, while reinforcing his carefully-cultivated image as a bit of a maverick. The fact is that the large teddy bear on the desk would soften his miserable, oafish features.
Most of all, the photos of him doing Government business while minding his 19-month-old daughter would provoke debate in the media as to its rights and wrongs.
Publicity
All of which would give Gogarty what he cherishes most -- publicity.
Over the weekend Gogarty tweeted doesn't "take anything anyone from the Herald says seriously, given the distorted crap written about me". Oooh, so controversial!
Paul won't mind me pointing out once again (for it was me, who said it) what an absolute twat he is.
Perhaps he's under the impression that the letters TD stand for 'total d***head'?
What else can explain his catalogue of crass, publicity-seeking stunts during his short time in Dail Eireann?
Predictably enough, he even had a mindless remark when asked whether he feared losing his seat in the next General Election.
When it was put to him that the representation of the Green Party in Dail Eireann might be cut down to just two seats, Gogarty replied that "As long as one of them is mine, I don't give a sh**."
That's some insight into the real Gogarty. Truly inspiring stuff.
AMY Huberman will be disappointed at having lost out to Ryan Tubridy in the Newcomer Of The Year category at last week's Irish Book Awards, especially as Ryan's book wasn't even finished by the closing date for entries.
Perhaps Amy's biggest mistake was to actually give the judges her completed book, and allow them time to read it? Bad move, Amy.
Next time, just tell them you're writing a novel, give them an outline of the story, and promise to turn up to the Awards dinner. Then you too, like Tubs, will be a shoo-in.