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Michael O'Doherty: George, you couldn't resist a grumpy shot at media

DESPITE the fact that George Hook saw sense last week, and dropped his legal proceedings against journalist Eithne Tynan, he still couldn't resist a typically grumpy, small-minded parting shot.

It's ironic that Hook should have been looking for his pound of flesh from Ms Tynan, when he is so patently well catered for himself in the flesh department.

Blaming the media for an orchestrated campaign of hate against him, Hook claimed that journalists were ganging up on him. "All I wanted was an apology," said the lardy broadcaster, "I didn't want her money."

So I'm guessing that the solicitors who sent Ms Tynan a letter on March 4, threatening her with legal action unless she gave "1. A written apology by way of an advertisment in a Sunday newspaper," and "2. An offer of compensation" simply misheard George's instructions in the sea of spit that accompanies his every pronouncement.

I'm glad that's cleared up.

Surely obnoxious Brian and talentless Calum were separated at birth?

It's ironic that on the weekend Cork woman Angie Benhaffaf launched the book which tells the extraordinary story of her conjoined twins, two other people -- Brian McFadden and Calum Best -- were in the news.

Because in a world of wannabes and celebs without any discernable talent, Calum and Brian must surely have been separated at birth.

Cruel

They're both 30 years old, 6ft, with blonde hair. They're both fond of soccer, and even more fond of a drink. Above all, they're joined at the hip by one immutable fact -- they are the two greatest wastes of space this country has ever produced.

It seems cruel to kick Brian McFadden at the lowest point of his life, as he is probably smart enough to realise what an absolute tit he's been. You would have thought that the former Westlifer would have appreciated being the luckiest man alive to be with Delta Goodrem, whom everyone else on the planet thought was too good for him.

Saint

But instead of keeping his mouth shut, his head down, and developing his not inconsiderable musical talents, McFatten instead opted to share his boozy life and idiotic opinions through his shambolic Twitter output, to the point where even Delta, who's obviously blessed with the patience of a saint, has had enough.

Though lacking a steady girlfriend, and any discernable form of talent, Calum 'Son of George' Best is, just like Brian, frequently described as 'having it all'. Popular wisdom would seem to suggest that he's missing one vital ingredient -- a job.

Back in Dublin in advance of his stint on Celebrity Salon, Calum was promoting his latest venture -- a perfume called Calum -- and teasing us about his follow-up venture, a restaurant called, inevitably, Besties.

Seemingly unfazed by his insatiable desire to cash in on the only recognisable thing he has -- his father's surname -- Calum drawled on about "trying to figure out what I want to do... taking acting classes... building a brand...".

And his mantra about leaving his wild years behind him seems at odds with the Calum Best who chose to celebrate his 30th birthday recently surrounded by the press, and dozens of people he doesn't know, in Bucks nightclub...

Magic

Calum does at least have something going for him. He is undoubtably charming, and seems to possess an endearing ability not to take himself too seriously. And it's not too fanciful a thought that somewhere, between the talentless but charming Best, and the obnoxious but talented McFadden, there's the makings of a decent human being.

Perhaps Dr Edward Kiely, the surgeon who performed the miraculous operation on the Benhaffafs, could work his magic on Brian and Calum, and rejoin them to give us one complete human being?

Thirty years in the making, could this be the start of something wonderful for Brian Best?

Katie impressed by Breffny's gibberish

I'M glad that our decision to sit Katie Price beside Breffny Morgan at the Peter Mark VIP Style Awards has paid dividends.

Katie was apparently fascinated by Breffny's mid-Atlantic accent, his "Harvard education" and his on-screen relationship with Geraldine O'Callaghan.

Updating us on his hectic schedule, Breffny revealed: "I'm working as a DJ at night. During the day, I'm writing a novel and a screenplay for US TV."

Of course you are, Breffny... And there was I thinking that it was Katie's Argentinian boyfriend who was coming out with the nonsensical gibberish...

Faye - next time put some more seats in

THE Irish Fashion Awards, held on Thursday night, were organised by gorgeous Irish model Faye Dinsmore.

It takes a particular type of focus and single-mindedness to get such an event off the ground, for which Faye is to be congratulated, although this can have a downside.

In the previous few weeks, the organisers were sending out emails stating that tickets were nearly sold out, then were sold out, and that finally they were trying to create some extra space in the venue to satisfy overwhelming demand.

Sitting in the Mansion House on Thursday, a thought occurred to me.

Perhaps if Faye had taken time to look up from her manic schedule and had noticed the empty, unused other half of the venue, she could have put some seating in there?

Fantasy? Nightmare if Shane sings with twins

PUBLICITY-seeking pop duo Barbarellas, aka Keavy and Edele Lynch from B*Witched, have bragged about how their raunchy outfits have had a strange effect on their male audience.

"Regardless of how we dress, the ultimate male fantasy is twins," revealed Edele, "so a lot of the guys were asking 'how about the three of us?'"

But with big brother Shane in tow, she said that the guys were put off. "They were afraid of what we'd do," she explained.

I'm sure they were. Imagine the excruciating pain if the three of them started singing together.


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