I'm delighted Ronan and Yvonne are back together, really I am. But I just can't help feeling a little used. I invested in that marriage crisis, felt for the various parties and poured over the photos of Yvonne, avec Starbucks and make-up, sans wedding and engagement rings. Now, two months later, it all seems to be hunky dory again in Keating-land, while I'm left a little shaken by the whole furore.
It's like someone has cried relationship 'wolf'; an exhausting and deflating habit that those in rollercoaster (sorry, no pun intended) relationships indulge. They call, usually at a really inconvenient time, to tell you it's all over. Disaster.
You, being the good friend/family member, instantly drop everything, cancel plans and park work issues/children/whatever to race over -- tissues in hand.
Like the good supportive pal, you stay up all night talking and sympathising. The next day you're worn out, good for nothing, and possibly have a dishevelled other in your spare room.
You continue to make this person the centre of your life -- in full-on drama mode -- until, suddenly you're told it's okay, it's business as usual as the couple are back together again.
This happens time and time again with some couples and yet we, the less drama-inclined, keep falling for it. By the time the real 'wolf' is cried on the relationship,everyone is usually too embarrassed to bring it up again, and the two parties just slope quietly into the sunset.
Sure, everyone's different, and some people need to live out their dramas a few times before putting anything into play. And maybe I'm the fool because I'm one of those who believe what I'm told.
If you come over to my house with a broken heart and a messy relationship, I'll take it all in and worry through the consequences. Then, you'll head home to patch things up while I'll scratch my head and wonder what that was all about.
And so, Ronan and Yvonne, like I said, it's great that you're back together, but we're all a bit exhausted by the whole thing. We've been worrying about the kids, about who's going to live in which house in Malahide. And we've been concerned that the young one was going to sell her story to the newspapers and bring shame upon you both ...
And we didn't know what was going to happen if Ronan went off to Australia, and if this was going to affect Boyzone. Yes, we've invested in this big time and we were preparing ourselves for the most unsavoury of outcomes.
Then, we heard Yvonne went to Oz too, and that the marriage was back on, and then we heard that was a rumour. Now it seems you are indeed both back together and, actually, at this stage, we're shattered by the whole thing.
So, as you both skip back into wedded bliss with the doves, unicorns and rainbows, let's leave it at this. No more red flags or dirty dancers or terrifying tabloid headings.
Because, and while we'll always be there for you, it'll be hard to sympathise as much a second time. Or a third.