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Melanie Morris: Where's Warney? Give us back our hunky hero, Liz...

WHEN Elizabeth 'Don't Call Me Liz' Hurley took up with Shane Warne last December, I was worried for her. What was this very fragrant English rose doing with Australia's laddish, womanising cricketer?

In fact, I think I recall writing about my fears for the woman in these very pages.

However, and even in spite of a spot of racy sexting on his part to another glamourous brunette, they persevered and now, some eight months later, seem to be very much the A-list power couple.

Except, where has Shane Warne gone, and who's the fully frosted Stepford husband by Elizabeth's side?

I took a deep breath of amazement last month when I saw a preened, slimline, Brylcreemed, baby-faced Warne appear with Elizabeth as she unveiled her pet project before Elton John's White Tie and Tiara Ball.


Warney (as he's known to the lads) had lost all his manly machismo and, instead, stood with a frozen smile, one arm around her, the other nonchalantly smoothing down his tuxedo lapel.

His tight, almost waxwork-like complexion, oddly slanting eyebrows and trim physique made him look like some sissy-boy metrosexual. Cricket's hard man had gone soft.

Word quickly started to spread that he'd had plastic surgery; had Botox; was wearing make-up; had his eyelashes tinted. Whatever, all he was owning up to was a loss of 22lbs and a penchant for Liz's Estee Lauder moisturiser.

He later Tweeted he was "also eating very healthily and am flattered that people think I look younger -- I have worked hard over the last five months on fitness and lifestyle -- it's far from a quick fix -- fitness and being healthy is now a daily habit -- I feel great and never been happier in my life".

This is from a man who previously lived on poker, pies and pints of beer, and that was on a good day.

I don't buy it. I think she's taken a good, rugged real man and iced him up like something out of Cafe Kylemore.

She's then stuck him on one of her fad diets (no breakfast? Just bowls of watercress soup? Bed hungry, with just eight raisins as a snack?). And then into stupid, metrosexual men's clothes. Urgh. He's become her ultimate accessory.

To me, there's nothing more unattractive than a man who's a slave to his looks. Sure, it's great that he wants to look good, but I don't want to know all about it. And I certainly don't want to compete in the vanity stakes.

Nope, I'm the one who hogs the bathroom, the mirror, and most of all, the expensive lotions and potions. All I want from a man when it comes to appearance is that he notices mine.

But Liz, sorry, Elizabeth, celebrates her 'new' man. And in an interview, she tells the world she had "no control" over Warney's new look. She "merely stated a preference".

Later, she went on to Tweet, "SW's only crime is nicking my Estee Lauder Resilience Lift moisturiser. Let's not forget, 92pc of folk who use it report a more lifted look!".

Lifted? He looks as if he's had the fright of his life. And I'm sure his former wife got an equal shock when she saw pictures appear this weekend from South Africa, where Warne acted as the dutiful "plus one" on Elizabeth's business trip.


Where's the beer guzzling, womanising father of three? He's been replaced by an android who apparently lives on protein shakes, water, daily runs and mascara.

Until, of course, he spends an afternoon with the lads at Nottingham's famous Trent Bridge cricket ground. After boasting to the world about his new healthy lifestyle, the regime seemed to go out the window as he'd "just eyed a Mr Whippy van at Trent bridge -- double cone with soft serve ice cream and a flake ? Yum ...". No doubt Elizabeth dispatched the diet police pronto.

Toughen up Warney, this boy-toy lark doesn't do you any favours.