I remember getting my heart broken for the first time.
It was my first true love. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for this person but they couldn't give a hoot about me.
I was young and in love, they had other things on their mind. You've heard it all before.
We split up and I went through the usual stages - the heart break, the comfort eating, the "how-very-dare-she" stage.
Then there was the grief, the bitterness, the endless chats over pints with friends as I asked them "what went wrong" and they endlessly telling me that it would work out (while silently knowing she was back with her ex).
And then I did what most people do. I made sure I looked a million dollars the next time I saw her.
After a couple of months I was ready to go back to the pub where I knew the ex would be. And boy (or girl) did I look good - my bat wing sweater rocked, my Cuban heeled boots were to die for, and my Flock of Seagull hair-do could have housed a flock of seagulls.
This look was 80s-tastic. The outcome was predictable.
She took one look at me, waved, and went back talking to the people she was with. The "look-what-you're-missing" fiasco didn't work.
I ordered a triple gin at the bar and returned to my bitter, depressed, gloomy outlook on life.
So it amuses me these days when I see celebrities post their own "look-what-you're-missing" photos on Facebook or Twitter.
Whether it's Gwyneth Paltrow posting a selfie, obviously having a very hilarious time with her very famous friends, or Caroline Wozniacki posing with pals like Serena Williams after splitting from Rory McIlroy, these images might make the celeb feel good, but they ain't gonna bring back the ex.
The worst thing about uploading such snaps onto social media is that you get no reaction from the ex.
You post your photo, sending out the message that you are having the best time with your new single life, and you are left with no response.
Did Chris Martin look at Gwyneth and think, "she looks so cute having fun with her really famous friends, I want her back".
Or did he think, "I bet she fed them celery and yogurt 'cos they all look really hungry. I'm off to have a steak".
At least when I tried my "look what you're missing" stunt, I got an immediate negative response.
I knew the relationship was done diddly done.
But the world and its mother now see stars being desperate to prove they are uber happy with life.
And no-one knows what the ex's reaction really is.