NOTE to Simon Delaney and Laura Whitmore. The only way this is going to work is if you run down into the audience, do a selfie with a couple of Fair City actors that's re-tweeted 27 times in three hours, order a shed-load of pizza from Domino's and tip the delivery lad a tenner.
At least that's what this Saturday's IFTAS might look like, if it does an Oscars.
To be guaranteed a few more re-tweets they'll have to plant Nidge and Franno in the first couple of rows.
Now that's a selfie I'd retweet. For fear I'd be kneecapped if I didn't.
One of the actors from The Selfie – the original one from the Oscars – Kevin Spacey, is rumoured to be attending on Saturday. Maybe he'll try to re-create it, Dublin-style.
Spacey has already admitted to being able to curse, thanks to Colin Farrell.
He apparently said in an interview that "Colin Farrell taught me to say 'Go f**k yourself you f**ker'", before admitting he was joking.
There's no need to say it was a joke, Kevin – sure, we're all up for a bit of foul-mouthed craic here.
We need a John Travolta moment too, to feel all Hollywood. Maybe Kevin could present something as Gaeilge?
Though it's hard to imagine that he'd mangle anything as badly as Travolta, whose attempt to pronounce Idina Menzel was so ham-fisted it triggered a slew of online name generators, into which you could pop your name to see what it would sound like if the Grease star tried to pronounce it.
I guess our equivalent of America's sweetheart, Jennifer Lawrence, is probably Amy Huberman.
How many times has JLaw tripped now? She wasn't on the Oscars red carpet for 10 seconds last month before she face-planted, completely ungracefully, into the person in front of her, nearly taking a few others out too.
One second she was all "Hiiiiiiieeey everybody", the next it was "Christ, where's my helper?" It was an echo of her falling on the way to make her acceptance speech during the previous year's ceremony.
At least Brian would be there to catch if The Hubes tripped up.
Of course, our favourite IFTAs sport is watching the stars trying to out-pose each other on the red carpet.
The law of diminishing returns applies to red carpet looks in Ireland.
When you've seen one tangerine celeb with a low-cut primary colour dress, you've seen them all. It's like they're afraid of catching a sense of understated.
I can't wait for Saturday night. It's like dial 'em in, stack 'em high Irish celebs.
Here's hoping Kevin makes it for that selfie with Nidge and Franno, to sprinkle a bit of Tinsletown on our lives.