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Eamon Keane: Cowen's like famous Python sketch, delusional head on a dismembered body refusing to lie down and die

THERE is a scene in a Monty Python movie where a medieval knight has had his arms and legs cut off in a fight.

Yet the dismembered warrior continues to fight. He calls his opponents cowards as they walk away. The other knights look on in disbelief.

Well, say hello to Planet Biffo, where Brian Cowen struggles on as the delusional head on a dismembered body.

I know that euthanasia is illegal in Ireland. But how about we put into law a bill for Political Euthanasia? This law will make it okay to put to death any Government that is clearly dying and causing misery unto itself and the nation.


We need to kill off the wretched dying political corpse. It stinks, now fetid with incompetence and arrogance.

The Government, like the aforementioned medieval knight, has had its arms and legs cut off. Six ministers gone and now the Greens have vamoosed into the eternal sunshine that is a State pension.

Yet Cowen will not resign as Taoiseach and call an election.

The man is either addicted to power or delusional. Maybe both. For sure he will destroy his party and maybe the country in the process.

This is not unusual for this Government. There is a State policy of prolonging life long after it should have been put to the sword.

Take the basket case that is Anglo Irish Bank.

Not alone was it not killed off early on but it was actually kept alive with transfusions of your money. In fact, you will be paying money into this corpse for a long time to come.

So we've moved from first prolonging the living to actually keeping the dead alive! It is zombie time on Planet Biffo.

What about FAS? Though a rotting corpse, it eats up our money. Sorry, its leaders literally ate their way through our money with their bloated expense accounts. Roddy Molloy, well known to Mr Cowen, was allowed to continue way beyond his sell-by date.

And what about the real monstrosity, the body that should have been killed off long ago? The HSE is alive and well, kept going by your tax euros. Despite scandal after scandal, despite the fact his own ministers said it wasn't working, Brian Cowen continues with this organisational zombie.


Remember the farcical events of last Wednesday when Cowen should been put out of his misery? Instead, the Zombie Cabinet was kept alive by the other living dead -- the Greens.

The Greens may have squeezed a small few hours more of existence yesterday by finally making a stand.

I fear, however, that they will be joining the afterlife pretty soon .

Then again, the afterlife on Planet Biffo isn't too bad. A €300,000 grand pay off and a huge pension saw the minister formerly known as Mary Harney off into the great HSE in the sky.

So we come to the man himself. It appeared at one stage that Cowen was gone or going. As it turns out, Freddy Krueger died sooner.

So you can see we need Political Euthanasia.

Micheal Martin alone in the party had the guts to try to slay Cowen in the confidence vote. But the trembling citizens of FF Land preferred the comfort of their dysfunctional dying ways.

Please step forward again Micheal, because if you don't a far worse death will happen.

We will have the death of a democracy. A democracy that is debased by the self-serving egotism of Cowen and his cronies.

The bullshit about the good of the country or even indeed the party doesn't wash any more, does it?

Ireland is now the land of the living dead. Will someone please do the honourable thing and put him out of our misery?

twitter@eamonbkeane blog www.citizenkeane.ie