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Don't ever give up on your search for love

I believe in love. I have no doubt there is a great love for everyone and that is why divorce is necessary. Mistakes are made. You have to keep going until you find the right one.

My friends who are still looking lose heart. They say the odds are against them once they hit their thirties. They have to keep going.

There is someone for everyone. Everyone can meet someone who meets their deepest heart. I do not think we should marry for any other reason. I can't bear to watch people just settle for someone. A wise man told me once that marrying someone you don't feel sure of is saying they're only entitled to second best, and is therefore the biggest of insults. When I say 'marry' I mean commit to for life, in whatever way you think is appropriate. It's not dresses and aisles. It's coping with the hard, long, boring days together.

You need a soul mate for that.

My gay friends tell me the search for love is just as difficult for them.

I still don't get the male silence. The female silence I can usually read. But the male one is full of mystery. That particular male wordlessness that says 'I am behind a newspaper even if one is not present'. I am so focused on others I'd love a week of tunnel vision just to get some practice at this.

This is the hardest part of the emotional description for me. My need to engage can bring less of it if I am not careful. Sometimes I despair that I will ever know what to do with all the love I feel.



magic

But I believe in the love between two people and I believe it is the miracle which gives all the other crap a chance of being survived. I know that when you find someone to spend the rest of your life with, you just know.

I think the magic of true identification can exist with very few and when someone who makes you come alive comes along you must pay any kind of price. I paid it and there have been years where I regretted it, but never years where I was not sure of my feelings.

Two friends who found each other in hard times have made a golden decision to love each other forever. They have fought very hard for their lives and to be together. They have won. I am so glad in this month of magic, in the symbolic and literal darkness of our December, that their Christmas has come early.

The idea of their kind of love, the most real kind, the kind that allows them both to bring anything to the conversation and for it to be heard, being honoured in their decision to marry makes my heart warm and makes me turn to the love I feel for the man I love.

If you love someone, let them know. Never let them go.


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