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Sinead Ryan: Liz, you look way too good for a 44-year-old pig farmer

Right then -- we're all agreed Liz Hurley looked fabulous launching her new swimwear shop in Kildare Village. I'm not casting aspersions, but as a 44-year-old organic farmer, the IFA has a lot to live up to, that's all. Farmer Liz explained the sideline: "I've always been obsessed with holiday clothes ... it's an area where women, regardless of shape or size, can look amazing or really get it wrong."

Hmmm. Regardless. See, that's the word I would've whipped out. I'm horrified that Liz might think me her ideal demographic. We're almost the same age (I'm still younger than Liz, wahey!), and we both crave a bit of sun. There the similarity ends. She's spoken in the past about getting by on one meal a day and quitting coffee and alcohol because it's bloating. I eat all around me on holidays and wash it down with copious amounts of alcohol.

I don't spend much on swimsuits -- the damn things are always shrinking on me (oops, surely not a link?). Everything else highlights the midriff which for most 44-year-olds, farmers or otherwise, is the one area they want to keep under wraps. Still, who knew rearing pigs was so toning?