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Yummy Mummy rejoices in child-free plane

I HEARD some good news the other day. Malaysia Airlines have launched a child-free zone.

That's right. Kids under 12 will not be permitted to sit in the economy upper deck aboard the airline's first A380 service, non-stop route between London and Kuala Lumpur when it takes off in July.

Okay, so I'm not thinking of taking this flight any time soon, but if I do ever consider flying to Kuala Lumpur I'll gladly pay to sit in this section of the plane.

Now, before I hear the protests from parents insisting that their children are 'as good as gold' and ask 'were you never a kid once?' let me say that both as a mum of a three-year-old and a former air hostess, I think I'm justified in my opinion that child-free areas on planes are a wonderful idea and I hope other airlines follow suit.


I used to be a fervent traveller. There was a time I spent almost as much time on planes as I did at home.

There were two types of passengers that I always dreaded sitting near: people with BO and children.

Why oh why do people not use deodorant and why do parents allow kids to kick the seat of the person in front?

I remember flying to China with some little terror kicking the back of my seat.

I turned around a couple of times so that his dad would get the hint that I wasn't pleased, and when that didn't work I had to ask him to tell his child to stop.

The Chinese man apologised and the rest of the flight was kick-free.

Now, compare that to flying to Spain one year and an Irish child was kicking the back of my seat.

I asked the child's mother, nicely, to control her child. Well, World War Three nearly broke out.

She basically started yelling at me that I had no compassion and that I was obviously not a mother myself and knew nothing about kids.

Now, I knew enough about air rage since my flying days, so instead of acting like a fishwife myself, I just asked to be moved.


Now I am a mother - indeed a fairly besotted one - too, but no matter how funny and charming I think my Gary is, I would not inflict him on other passengers on a long night flight.

We tend to holiday in Ireland now. There are many reasons for this. One of them is because it's less hassle, and another is because I like to support the Irish hospitality industry in these tough times.

But the main reason is because it's hard to control a toddler on a flight.

And when he starts singing in the middle of the night, believe me, you are the only passenger who is going to think it's cute!

It used to drive me crackers when I was walking up and down the cabin aisle with my boiling hot teapot and tiny terrors would come crashing into my legs.

Parents would let them run riot, their only concern being when they could get their next drink.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the flying drunks. They should have their own separate plane altogether!