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Colette Fitzpatrick: So what if Jen is single? She's happy

Why can't Jen hold on to a man? It's the headline we've read dozens of times about 'poor' Jennifer Aniston. It implies that she desperately needs/ wants a man and is much worse off without one. Any old billygoat will do; full set of teeth not even necessary.

Who was it that said desperation is like stealing from the Mafia? You stand a good chance of attracting the wrong type of attention.

A pal says the international sign of a desperate women is having pets she calls her children. This serial dater isn't looking for 'the one'; she's looking for anyone. Her life is on a timeline and she needs to hit certain milestones such as marriage, having a baby, becoming a mother of the bride, by certain age deadlines.

Cherubic

She closes her eyes and sees herself and her hunky hubby and their cherubic son and daughter clad in denims and white shirts, shoe and sockless, in black and white, framed above their gas fire. She knows what she will be doing on the last Saturday of August next year and has always known what the name of her first born boy and girl will be. Alpha girlfriend, wife and mother material wrapped into one uptight, frantic singleton.

But this type of woman bears no resemblance to Jennifer Aniston. Any chance you can believe that Jen might not want to settle down again? Why is it such a wild stretch that someone could be happy, fulfilled and content without a man, marriage or children? Do you need everyone else to jump on board your anklebiter-filled people carrier to reinforce that your decision to get hitched and become a mammy was the right one? Be honest. How many women and men for that matter, do you know or suspect 'settled?'

At least we know that Jen is not settling, just to be with someone. Maybe she is high maintenance, but I have a feeling that Jen maintains herself.

There's no loss on the ex-Mrs Pitt. To declare my hand, I'm on Team Jen. I don't trust any woman who appears to have decided that she wants her family to look like A United Colours of Benetton ad. They are children, Angelina; not a campaign.

Paul, here are some tips if you really want to join the glam girls at TV3

We're gutted here in TV3 that Paul Galvin will not in fact be joining Xpose.

The hard man of GAA would appear to have all the qualities needed to be a presenter here.

He's not shy of a gruelling workload.

He works through the entire summer for little or nothing, and although he's got his detractors, is focused on the important things in life such as shopping, fashion and music.

The Kerry star could have slipped up in a job interview, though, by admitting he doesn't use fake tan.

Metrosexual

What were you thinking Paul? And you're not quite sure what a metrosexual is?

Schoolboy errors, I'm afraid. Are those tinfoil-wrapped hang sandwiches in your manbag?

You'd at least have to admit that you were in part responsible for the hole in the ozone layer under the Misuse of Hairspray Act. You'd need to own a pair of harem pants or gladiator sandals and be all over the latest Brangelina rumours.

A tip for you, Paul.

To really qualify to be a presenter in TV3, you need to give endless interviews about how 'normal' you really are.

I like to use the 'the best bit of Dublin, is the N7 out of it' line. Maybe refer to your rural roots, your love of nothing better than a big pile of spuds and say 'this GAA lark may look really glamorous but you should see me without my full face on.'

Slamdunk

Skinny jeans don't suit all of us here in TV3, but sure what's stopping yourself and The Glenda getting behind a new clothes label and donating the proceeds to a charity of your choice? Maybe an underfunded club in the Kingdom?

To slamdunk the interview, you'd have to be snapped coming out of Copper Face Jacks in the green and gold.

Or maybe post a few piccies of yourself on Facebook, hanging out with some big names, like the half back line of an intercounty GAA team...


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