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Big Brother’s loss is our, er, gain

j I’m delighted that Ronan Keating has come clean on the burning issue of 2014 - will he, or will he not, be appearing in Celebrity Big Brother?

And after weeks of speculation, he took to the Twitter machine to break the hearts of Channel 5’s TV executives by announcing: “Love all the chat about me and Big Brother. Please know I am not in talks with anyone regarding this. Nor will I be.”

Of course, how could Ronan commit himself to being locked away for over a month with a collection of z-list celebrities, when he has much more important things to be doing with this life?

Just last week, after all, he informed the world, via his joint Twitter account @roandstormy, that he has located Dublin’s best pizza and his favourite spot for a cappuccino, information for which the nation extends its undying thanks. Celebrity Big Brother’s loss, in short, Irish society’s gain.