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Ah here, leave it out ... nobody asked for all these Irish showbiz comebacks

C'est la vie! Isn't that what the girls in denim told us back in '98?

I refer to the B*Witched girls, of course; that gang of pop bandits whose reign at the top of the Irish and British charts lasted all of ten minutes.

Okay, so it was a little longer than that. The internet tells us that, in the space of five years, the Dublin four-piece sold three million records worldwide. Three million. Depressing, ain't it?

And now Edele Lynch and her girl band buddies are looking to add to their tally with the, er, long-awaited release of their third album, due next month.

Jaysus. So that's why lead singer Edele went into the Celebrity Big Brother House recently.

Call it profitable promo, call it what you will, but is there anyone out there who is seriously considering picking up this release when it hits the shelves in September?

Because I don't recall anyone asking for more B*Witched in their lives.

More to the point, what did we do to deserve such a thing, and when will somebody put an end to this atrocious 'comeback' nonsense?

It appears that anyone who used to be anyone is sizing up another shot at glory these days.

Yes, we're looking at you, Michael Flatley.

Granted, Flatley's happy feet are, in fact, something of a cultural phenomenon in that the spritely Irish-American somehow managed to make Irish dancing cool back in the '90s. For a while, at least.

So Flatley is a proper superstar in his own right - I'll give him that.

But rolling out a new Lord of the Dance arena show (Dangerous Games! Coming to Dublin next March! You've been warned) after the world and its mother have already seen Riverdance twice, maybe three times, is asking a lot.

egos

Where is the young blood, eh? There's plenty of it, mind, but instead we find ourselves wasting time, money and energy on feeding the bloated wallets and egos of yesterday's showbiz wallies.

Boyzone? Give it a rest, lads - there were a lot of empty seats at your last Dublin gig.

Actually, the Boyzone downfall is an interesting case.

When Ronan Keating and the gang originally reunited as a five-piece, the demand was there for a single or two, and maybe a tour, all of which eventually arrived. But they've overplayed their hand.

They should have bowed out after the tragic death of Stephen Gately, but instead, they've allowed themselves to become a parody of what they once were (and this is Boyzone we're talking about). When even Louis Walsh advises you to give it up, you know you have a problem.

Elsewhere Samantha Mumba has made an entire career out of threatening a comeback.

Oh, and remember when Johnny Logan started popping up in burger commercials? There's irony, and then there's just sad.

We're obsessed with getting Westlife back together, despite the fact that the boys only called it quits in 2012.

scary

Even the late Joe Dolan has been at it (the big screen Dolan and live band experience is, let me assure you, a very real and very scary thing).

Pop comeback specials do not work in Ireland (just ask Garth Brooks) and yet we keep seeing more of them every year.

Full disclosure here: I have, in fact, already witnessed the B*Witched comeback trail live in the flesh. It's not pretty.

Yep, the group hit the road last year, stopping by the O2 for a night I'll never forget (don't judge, I was sent on professional duty...honest).

How bad was it? Well, at one point, Edele tried to get the crowd going with what has to be one of the worst call-and-responses I've ever heard.

"When I say 'ah heaaaare…'" she roared. You can figure out the rest for yourself. Frightening times, indeed.


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