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8 things that should be banned from public transport

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We've all been there - the man who insists on telling the bus about his day

We've all been there - the man who insists on telling the bus about his day

We've all been there - the man who insists on telling the bus about his day

You are a man. You sit down and spread your legs.

You may even scratch yourself. But hang on, you’re not at home. You’re on the Dart and the person beside is looking at you as if you've just sacrificed your first born. Welcome to the world of public transport etiquette. And you've just 'man-spreaded', apparently.

People are getting rather tetchy about how strangers conduct themselves on public transport. But it’s not just limited to us. In New York, 'man-spreading' is so big a problem that the Metro Authority recently ran a campaign to make men more considerate when you’re taking the subway.

So what are the worst things that you can do on public transport and what are your own particular bugbears when it comes to travelling in Dublin? Here’s ours . . .

 

1) Phone conversations

People are so busy these days they like to think they can use their evening commute to catch up on calls. Fine, in theory. In practice, not so good. Hearing a turgid one-sided conversation consisting of banalities like ‘Did you pick up the milk?’ and ‘any letters today?’ would drive anyone to the verge of their sanity. To make matters worse, it’s pretty much guaranteed that our 'phone-a-fiend' will ask their pal to repeat themselves. You can’t hear because you are on the bus. But we can hear you. Very. Very. Loudly.

2) People who put their bags on their seats

Yes, I know you don’t want anyone to sit beside you, but there’s no other space available. I have to sit somewhere. And your shopping/work bag/backpack really isn’t that important that it deserves a seat of its own. What’s more, don’t sigh when you’re moving your stuff – it’s undignified and a bit childish. And if you do that, I’m going to man-spread beside you. Guaranteed.

3) Listening to music too loudly

Yes, your music may define you. It may set you apart from the crowd. You’re a visionary. Yes, yes, we get it.  But do you really need to listen to it at an ear crushingly loud volume? No, you don’t. Turn it down or else, vengeance will be ours, in this life or the next.

4) Window openers or closers

You’re too hot? Or maybe too cold? Grand. Just say so. If I’m sitting beside the window, I can open or indeed close it accordingly. But I don’t need you climbing all over me to take matters into your own hands.

5) The smelly ones

There are many reasons that people can be smelly and some of them are forgivable. But most are cardinal sins – such as the person who just doesn’t shower enough or actually appears to celebrate that appalling BO. These people are a menace to society and must be stopped at all costs. And why do they always end up beside me on the bus?

6) People who eat

The bus – even if it is a night bus – is not the place to consume your dinner. It’s often deeply unhygienic place and the least attractive venue to consume food. But yet that still doesn’t stop people from launching themselves into their Big Mac and fries. Stay classy, folks.

7) Young wans who talk incessantly

I really don’t care about your life, who your best pal is “shifting”. I certainly don’t care if he fancies you. I got problems of my own.  Please stop talking, I’ve had enough of your idle chatter.

8) Sniffers

You’ve got a cold. I’m sorry about that. It’s awful. We’ve all been there. But unlike you, we haven’t spent our evening commute sniffling away like a drug addict. Stay at home or walk - it's that simple.

What's your pet hate on public transport? Let us know


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