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Workers expect the moon on a stick...but bosses now want to ban office jargon

Office workers have been urged to stop using jargon after a list of the most ridiculous business phrases was compiled, ranging from "biting the reality sandwich" to "touching base offline".

Workers now talk about feeling "stressurised" (a mixture of pressure and stress) and often want to "flag" problems, as office jargon gets more bizarre every year.

Terms such as "singing from the same hymn sheet" have been in widespread use for some time, but recruitment firm Office Angels' list included some ridiculous phrases, such as:

  • We need the right pin numbers (we need it to work)

  • A lighthouse on a cloudy night (coming up with a good/bright idea)

  • I'm coming into this with an open kimono (throwing an idea out into the open but being open to criticism)

  • Let's touch base about this offline (let's meet up face to face)

  • Finger in the air figure (just an estimate)

  • I think someone needs a bite of the reality sandwich (someone needs to think a bit more practically)

  • Let's run that idea up the flagpole and see if it flies (simply trying out an idea)

  • Let's not try to build a chestnut fence to keep the sand-dunes in (face a problem head on, rather than battling it unsuccessfully)

  • Expecting the moon on a stick (when clients have ridiculous expectations).

The recession has also spawned the term "credit munch", meaning switching from an expensive lunch to a cheaper option.

"Trying to talk the talk isn't particularly productive and doesn't make you seem more professional," a spokesman said.

"Whilst this jargon is amusing, my advice would be that nothing beats plain talking. If you communicate clearly, then you and your team can work more effectively."