WELCOME back! We thought he was gone but no, Planet Bertie is alive and well.
In the latest installment from the stratosphere, Bertie says he could be President were it not for Fianna Fail's unpopularity.
Sure, and I could be playing for Manchester United, dating Beyonce and flying to the moon were it not for other people's unpopularity.
Did you, like me, nearly fall off the chair when you read about Bertie's recent interview?
I'll say this for him, he certainly doesn't disappoint. When it comes to self-delusion the Bert is right up there with the best of them.
This is the same man who previously told us on RTE that the current financial mess was down to the Regulator, Government advisers and Lehmans Bank. Bertie could not see any culpability for himself.
Nothing to do with the developer-friendly legislation his Government introduced. Nothing to do with the 'turn a blind eye' culture he and others promulgated when it came to policing builders, developers and bankers.
Do you think that reasoning would go down well on the Presidential campaign as Bertie tours ghost estates and meets the unemployed?
Now Bert has his version of events and fair enough. Do you remember his account for the infamous 'dig-outs' he received?
It is understood that Judge Mahon in his forthcoming report finds them a tad incredible. I suspect most of you don't believe that he got £15,000 (sterling) from betting on the nags at Cheltenham either.
Can you imagine the questioning at press conferences during the Presidential campaign were he to run ?
I recalled previously when I asked Bertie the question 'weren't you warned about the economy?' and his response was 'No.'
Yet the ESRI and Department of Finance reports had warned the Government repeatedly about the economy.
Would you want a President who could never take responsibility?
Bertie now blames Fianna Fail for his unpopularity. I would have thought it was the other way around.
What did he do for FF when he signed blank cheques for CJ Haughey? Like he didn't know there was something queer about it.
That and other events were acts committed in the FF party name for personal gain by CJ.
The point is they ended up tarnishing the FF brand. Remember that the Fianna Fail of Lemass never had that suspicion of cronyism attached to it.
Does Bertie ever consider that, though they were small amounts, the 'dig-outs' he got had a whiff of something about them? Does he think they helped FF's popularity?
Don't forget Bert also bought elections with deals that had to be paid for at some stage. People are now paying the price for them.
Does he think this wouldn't affect his popularity?
I do respect the work Bertie Ahern did on the Northern Peace Process.
He is entitled to a lot of credit for that and he has made a significant difference to people's lives there.
However he demeans his own legacy when he comes out with deluded nonsense about running for President.
The critical thing it highlights is his complete inability to take any responsibility for the mess we are in.
Instead, as always, Bert lays the blame for his unpopularity somewhere else.
It is sad that this time he puts it on a once proud party. Sad that a man who has done some good for his country cannot face reality.
So Planet Bertie swirls around in orbit , perhaps it even crosses paths with Planet Lowry in that great Universe of Delusion.
Dream on President Bertie.