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A joke about Take That has topped a poll of modern Christmas cracker quips.

A joke about Take That has topped a poll of modern Christmas cracker quips.

Amateur wits and comedians were challenged to write their own jokes to liven up the usual offerings after previous research revealed that most people find cracker gags outdated.

As well as a joke about Jason Orange quitting Take That, the list features witticisms about Ukip, U2's free album giveaway and Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez.

The top 10:

1. What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year? An Orange.

2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner?

Bite-sized.

3. What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs?

Game Of Thrones.

4. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?

"Get out of my face."

5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron?

He's got two parties to organise.

6. What's the difference between Bono and Santa?

Santa gives what you want.

7. Why won't Santa visit Nigel Farage?

Because he only comes if you sleep, not if UKIP.

8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket? They're always bowling snow-balls.

9. I got a UKIP advent calendar. It's rubbish, all the doors keep slamming shut.

10. Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity?

Because the Star is in the Yeast.


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