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Run, fat bitch, run

Stop telling yourself you look great when you look a big fat heap, is the message from evangelical jogger Ruth Field. Instead, strip naked in front of a full-length mirror in harsh lighting, don’t pull in your belly, and have a good long look at how utterly repulsive you are.

Ruth, a 36 year-old mum of twins, thinks this makes her your very best friend, and the title of her new best-selling book, Run Fat Bitch Run, is the tough-love mantra she is urging women to repeat to themselves to get jogging and lose those carb pounds and stodge-induced rolls.

It worked for her when she piled on the pounds during working lunches as a trainee criminal barrister.

“Scrutinise yourself naked and tell yourself the ugly truth — in the quest for a better, leaner body, it is better to really make yourself feel fat and ugly,” writes London-based fitness fanatic Ruth.

Self-love is out. Instead, self-motivation with a dose of self-disgust is in, and Ruth goes on: “Do the maths, if you tell yourself all the time you are looking good, you are actually denying yourself the catalyst required to shift the fat from those body parts in most dire need of improvement.”

Runners, she believes, are more successful in life. “There is an obvious connection between lack of motivation to exercise and general disarray in other areas of your life.”

Before you rename the book, ‘Run Fat Lazy Bitch Run’, the fact is Ruth’s book is selling in droves. Its no-excuse, high self-discipline, and take-no-prisoners approach to fitness is resonating with women. Here’s how Ruth aims to get you running:

>Run rule 1 Walk out of your front door and create a loop which starts and ends at home. This will ultimately become your running circuit. Drop your fitness buddy, it’s hard enough motivating yourself without having to motivate someone else too. A problem shared is, in this case, a problem doubled.

>Run rule 2 Quit moaning, if you can winch yourself out of bed or off the sofa and make it to work or to the shops, you are fit enough to start. To give yourself no excuses to stop your new training, make sure your clothes are comfortable, that you’re wearing a good support bra to stop yourself bouncing about, and that your trainers are comfortable.

>Run rule 3 Walk your circuit, going a little faster each time, until you feel ready to run. When you are ready to start running, walk at a brisk pace for about 10 minutes to warm up, and then start jogging at a slow pace and build up speed gradually.

The Breath Test is an excellent way to determine what you are capable of. You should always be able to hold a conversation while walking fast and jogging slowly. If you cannot speak or say a sentence, you are overdoing it.

>Run rule 4 Do not try and jazz things up by doing fancy warm-ups and stretches. You probably don’t know how to do them properly anyway, and doing them incorrectly will make you look like a proper loser.

>Run rule 5 Push yourself a little further each time. You have just given yourself the best present ever, and all you need now is to keep it up — three times a week is the minimum, five times the optimum.

>Run rule 6 Get addicted. Let running become who you are as opposed to what you do. Get into running gear whenever or wherever you can, after raiding your nearest specialist running shop and treating yourself to good running clothes and shoes.

You’re considering cancelling a run, are you really now? Time to abuse yourself with the mantra ‘Run Fat Bitch Run’.

Run Fat Bitch Run, by Ruth Field, published by Sphere, price €14.95.