"Good evening, Dublin. I'm Taylor…" Well, now, we already knew that much. There are 13,000 'Swifties' in the house - they knew it, too.
Oh yes, the chick in the rock-star shades and red lippy has got this covered. Good Lord, we're all wearing matching, super-dooper, sci-fi bracelets that were handed to us at the door.
Glitzy pop jams burst to life, so too do our shiny new reflective wristbands (the word you're looking for is 'amazeballs'). Tonight, we are all worshippers at the throne of Taylor Swift, the impeccable, all-American poster girl for classy pop reinventions.
Lest we forget, the Pennsylvanian singer is still only 25.
This is 'The 1989 World Tour' - hence, the boombox imagery, the 80s movie references and, most importantly, a refusal to go down the raunchy, over-sexualised, Ri-Ri route.
See, Taylor is her own form of royalty - a hipster-friendly, mainstream-crashing bag of elegance, with an almost golden-age, movie-star quality.
She's got the choons, the smarts, a killer voice, live instruments, a big-old Broadway-styled production, a fabulous wardrobe and a genuinely likeable personality.
So, why bare your backside when you can simply smile and cut through the glorious Shake it Off atop a revolving catwalk, alongside a line-up of tuxed-out hunks with wheels in their heels? Pop moment of the year, that one.
There's a lot of talk. Indeed, Taylor hints at a post-music career as agony-aunt talk-show host with a long-winded yet admirable set of self-help speeches.
She's clued in, though - an important role model for the screaming teens. Oh, and the songs - now there's a funky mix tape, from electro-pop knockouts (I Knew…, Style, Blank Space) to fun pop-rock tremors (the infectious Getting Back Together).
There are also entertaining clips of Taylor's mates back home (Lena Dunham and Haim included) singing her praises, proving that the fan club extends to the rich and glamorous. Taylor says we're part of that gang now. I don't know about you, but I'm chuffed. HHHHI