THIS week the world of motoring answered the very odd question of ‘why would a car owner put green diesel in the fuel tank of a BMW?’
Step forward Beamer owner, occasional taxi driver and one of the most unlikely reality television stars of the year – the Corminator.
The Corminator is one of the strange characters who occupy the world of Tallafornia, a puzzling place which throws up the theory that man could quite possibly have evolved from the pig.
Cormac Brannnigan, to give his proper handle, made a name for himself by sharing a home with a group of people whose domestic behavioural standards were |similar to that of a Branch Davidian Cult.
They were plonked in the middle of Tallaght and for some unknown reason hordes of nicompoops tuned in to watch the lives of this barely intelligent form of human lab rat.
God only knows what poor old Tallaght did in a previous life to be lumbered with such a home for buffed and bleached boors, and I would imagine the Tallafornians have done nothing for house prices in the area.
When Corminator isn’t pouring green diesel into his car, as was revealed in court last week, he and his housemates try to bed the, ahem, ladies who live in this anti-home in the suburbs.
The girls in question match their male house-mates in their desire to glow orange and sport bleach locks, while tottering around on high heels musing the world’s great mysteries such as: ‘Does my bum look big in this?’
I have no doubt as some sort of sick punishment for my many motoring sins I will be reincarnated a Tallafornian, where I’ll be force-fed John Player Blues, cheap dutch booze and forced to bed down in the boxroom with a hairdresser called Sharon.
Probably the most interesting plot-line in the series to date came in Dublin District Court when muscle-bound cabbie, Corminator pleaded guilty to powering his BMW with a concoction of mineral oil and blue dye, or green diesel.
He has now been slapped with a €2,500 fine for powering his car with alcopops and it can only be a matter of time before the boffins in TV3 wing a new Tallafornia contract his way.
But if Corminator can learn from the sorry episode then maybe he should invest in arguably the cheapest medium sized car to fuel on the road.
I’m fresh from the most amazing motoring experiences thanks to the Ford Focus Ecoboost.
This is a five-door car that is powered by a 1.0 litre engine, but drives like a 1.6 litre car thanks to some of the most refined engineering available to man.
It has won Engine of the Year voted for by the experts, with a record score
It has a six-speed gear box, and it can whack out almost 130 bhps – which is kind of amazing for a car with an engine the size of large lawnmower.
It cannot be underestimated, that this is a fantastic piece of engineering and a template which will be followed across the industry in the years ahead including the new Mondeo.
I know it’s a bit early for end of year polls, but this is certainly the most fascinating car of the year, if not the most innovative.
The Ford Focus costs from €19,865.