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I would hate to be too controlling

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pic.1. Somethings cooking......Brian and  Ali Murphy,, at home in Deans grange................

pic.1. Somethings cooking......Brian and Ali Murphy,, at home in Deans grange................

pic.1. Somethings cooking......Brian and Ali Murphy,, at home in Deans grange................

ALI Murphy is a student midwife and her husband Brian is self-employed.

She believes that although their lives are constantly busy, she would not be able to pursue her dream of being a midwife if it wasn't for Brian's support.

THEY live in Deansgrange with their four children (Lucy, 12, Kate, 10, Dan, 8 and Anna, 6) and a cluster of animals.

"Brian works in his family business which provides coin-operated machines and background music for pubs and shops and I am in the final year of my degree and am on clinical placement in a Dublin maternity hospital. It is an intense learning environment and I am constantly on the go – starting from when I leave home at 6.15am and cycle to work.

"I will stay there until 8.30pm and cycle home for a quick chat with the kids if they are awake – I always feel so guilty if they are asleep.

"Then I have a shower and organise everything that needs to be done regarding their activities for the next day, before heading off to bed. But Brian is fantastic and none of this could happen without him. He gets up at 7am, empties the dishwasher, feeds the dogs, gets coal and sets a fire. Then makes porridge, prepares four lunches and wakes the children. He then has to put up with all their shenanigans and gets them out to school by 8.15am before starting his own job.

"As I am in frontline healthcare, I am not available via text or by phone until my very short breaks when I am on duty and this can be very stressful for both of us.

"I will usually have prepared a dinner or an easy pasta dish for the family to eat in the evening and although Brian doesn't do a whole lot of cleaning around the house, he is pedantic about leaving the kitchen spotless.

Important

"If I'm working on the weekend, he will do the laundry, but usually I will have put a wash on and he will hang it up and then get the kids to fold and put it away. They're old enough to help, so we think it's important they do.

"I generally don't redo any jobs Brian has done as life is way too short for that and I would hate to be controlling. I would say our relationship is equal but different, too. It works because it has to and we had all sorts of ups and downs before getting to this point. It can be difficult at times, but I am passionate about becoming a midwife and I believe a happy mother makes a happy home."


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