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I want a baby, so he's banned sex

Q MY husband is refusing to have sex with me since I started talking about having a second baby. We're married for five years, and have a gorgeous toddler son whom I'm keen to provide a sibling for. I want the children to be close in age so they can be playmates.

My husband feels that since we've both taken a hit in our salaries in recent years and promotion seems an unlikely prospect, that we should hold off for a couple of years before having another baby.

I disagree, and as a result he doesn't trust I won't get pregnant on purpose, and is refusing to have sex with me. We haven't has as much as a cuddle in the past four months.

AThis is a subject that you really need to sit down and discuss as mature adults in a committed relationship. Your husband holding off from sex with you because he's worried that you'll try to get pregnant is simply ridiculous.

Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship and instigating a ban will only lead to resentment, arguments and you possibly drifting apart. Plus you cannot keep going like this forever. You must speak to him about how you feel and together work out the financial logistics of having another child. It may never be the 'right' time for having another baby, but your point about keeping your kids close in age is entirely relevant.

You must get this issue sorted as soon as possible.

QI know people will call me shallow and superficial, but the reality is I really am struggling with the idea of having to have my fat sister as a bridesmaid. It's not that I haven't given her lots of encouragement to lose weight, and my mum and myself are always offering to go walking with her, or to fat club.

My best friend and my fiance's sister are the other two bridesmaids, and are like myself and very in control of what they eat and are slim and perfectly groomed. My sister is just so lazy and doesn't do sports and always looks messy, and is the exact opposite of me, and a bad reflection on our whole family.

AAs much as you may try to protest, you unfortunately do sound incredibly superficial. This is your sister, your flesh and blood! Can you even begin to imagine the hurt, shame and humiliation she would feel if you prevented her from being your bridesmaid because of how she looks.

It would cause too much unnecessary angst and upset on your big day. I can understand your frustrations as you're keen on health and fitness, but all you can do is support your sister and be there to give her the best advice and encouragement. It has to be up to her to make the changes in diet and lifestyle. With the help of hair stylists and makeup artists, I'm sure that she will look beautiful on the day.

QMy housemate is wearing my clothes and then lying about it. For example, she told me she didn't borrow a jacket of mine but I smelt her perfume off it. I feel she also lied about a dress which when I went to put it on smelt of cigarettes. She doesn't smoke, but her boyfriend does. I've also put freshly ironed clothes into my wardrobe only to take them out all crumpled and creased. How can I resolve this, as the rent is affordable and the house is in a good location.

A Your housemate has been abusing your trust and treating you with a serious lack of respect. While she just may view clothes as disposable items, this is your property and she has no right to treat it as her own for the taking.

You obviously take good care of your possessions and expect them to look and smell freshly laundered when you go to wear them, so it is foolish of her to presume that you won't notice her perfume or the smell of cigarettes. As you have no desire to move house because of this, I strongly advise that you get a good lock fitted to your bedroom door, or even just your wardrobe. Explain firmly to your housemate that this marks the end of her being able to borrow as she pleases, though it's a shame that it has come to it. This will soon change her attitude.


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