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He's planning a nudist holiday

QMy boyfriend wants us to go to a nudist beach while on holidays. I'm surprised, as we've been together a year and he's never mentioned nudism before. He's a real outdoorsy type and cycles to work and goes hiking with friends on weekends and last summer went whitewater rafting on holidays.

I'm more of a spectator myself and am happy lying on the sofa surfing the web or listening to music. I'm wondering if I missed clues along the way about his interest in the great outdoors going beyond a healthy lifestyle. A holiday surrounded by naked people makes my skin crawl. I find changing rooms embarrassing. And what if we met someone we knew? Or someone I work with? I'm cringeing just thinking about it.

AFirst, I wouldn't be concerned about this being new information as he probably just hasn't had a chance to bring up his interest in nudism or maybe he hasn't felt comfortable enough with you until now. I also don't think there's anything sexually devious about it, as nudism is more about feeling liberated and at one with the natural surroundings than satisfying a perverted mind. It's just curiosity and he feels that this is the right time to explore another side to himself. Obviously, I wouldn't advise you to do anything you're not completely comfortable with, but even consider going along with him wearing your swimsuit and see how you feel once you're there. You'll probably realise that it feels quite good, and nobody else is looking at you anyway. It might end up being a wonderful bonding experience for you both.

QI'm going out with my first girlfriend. We're both 15 and I liked her for a long time before I asked her out. I thought she was really pretty and cool, and I liked the way she understood music and movies, and wasn't just into all the stuff her friends were. But since we started going out, she's become really clingy and sometimes she just appears at my front door saying she misses me. She texts me all the time and if I don't text back immediately, she rings me. When we're on a date she's making plans for the next date. She squeezes my hand tightly when we're together, to the point it hurts. I thought it would be good being this close to her, but it just feels really intense. My brother has started calling her 'the stalker' and I tried to laugh but I'm worried he might be right.

ARelationships at any age can be challenging, especially when one partner has different expectations. While it's lovely that you've found someone you like, it does sound to me that she's become quite obsessed with you and the idea of being your girlfriend. You may be her first boyfriend so she isn't used to finding the right balance. It's nothing to be worried about, she probably doesn't understand that you both need space. You could opt to give her the hint by just being less available to spend so much time with her, or you could share your concerns with her in a very sensitive and carefully worded way.

Explain that you haven't had as much time as you like with your own family and friends, and that a little space from each other sometimes would really benefit your relationship. Be as kind and as understanding as you possibly can so she sees it as a positive step as a couple.

QI'm doing my finals in college and am worried about what my future holds. I want to stay here and get a job and stay living in my family home while saving for an apartment. I want to go abroad, yes, but for adventures and to see the world, not to live abroad. I pretend to be realistic when my friends are talking about going away for work, and I nod along and even do some research on the internet and chat away like I've every intention of going too. Even my parents seem to take it for granted that I'll be emigrating soon. But inside I'm really panicked and lie awake at night worrying.

AYou're certainly not the only soon-to-be university graduate facing an uncertain future. But at least you'll have completed your third level education, which brings along many opportunities.

So there's also plenty to be grateful for. At the moment I think it's really important for you to put all your focus and energy into completing your final exams, rather than worrying about the future.

Sometimes opportunities can just pop up unplanned and you simply have to roll with them.

The most meticulous plans don't always work out as expected, so finish your studies and then start to investigate the job prospects here in Ireland. Speak to your friends and, most importantly, your parents, about your concerns and don't be afraid to ask for their advice and help.

They want you to be happy too. Don't spend your life worrying. Just keep an open mind.


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