It's official. I am going to get really, really fat. At least two stone overweight, and it will happen soon. Plus, there's nothing I can do about it and it's not my fault. Apparently all the Bikram yoga, running and walking that I love are not enough to save my figure.
I don't have a medical condition and I am not pregnant so one might wonder why I am convinced that I may, in the near future, need the use of two plane seats while travelling.
Well it's pretty simple. My house is a mess. It's clean dirt, but stuff has not been put back in its place for weeks, so it looks chaotic which, according to a new book by Peter Walsh, means my lifestyle and diet is out of control, too. If your house is a mess, the chances are your eating habits are, too, says Walsh's Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?
The tenet of the book is that an untidy house reflects an unhealthy lifestyle and encourages you to make poor choices when it comes to diet. Apparently, Mr Sheen needs to be your best pal if you want to wear skinny jeans -- and I don't mean Charlie Sheen -- so get your dusters out.
According to the author: "Clutter makes you fat -- and the instant you start to get rid of it, you slim down." Well gosh, if that was the case WeightWatchers and Curves would be saying 'bye, bye' to a load of clients.
We all make tenuous excuses when we gain weight, but I think this is just the latest in a long line of 'quick fix' theories. Some years ago I even invented my own little gem -- when my skirts stopped fitting me comfortably I convinced myself that they had shrunk in the dry cleaners.
My house wasn't messy at the time, I was just eating too many almond fingers and not walking enough.
I am really good pals with lots of people who have busy lifestyles. Some have children and some don't. But we all have one thing in common -- sometimes our lives are organised chaos. But if you blame your muffin top on this then you've already lost the race.
I have to go now as I need to leave work early today so that I can do yoga, walk home, cook a big bowl of chilli with low-fat everything and then fill the bin bags so I can dump lots of old papers and scrub the floors. I'll be four pounds lighter tomorrow!