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You've got male! It's hard on the head to come up with non-sexual words

I said the young lads were sleazy and that's somewhat harsh.

But I am trying to put the emphasis on the dating in internet dating -- meaning that you don't shag someone as soon as you look at them -- and keep away from the internet part, for that is where porn lives.

The young lads mostly post topless photos of themselves and make sure that at least one shows a close up of their tattoo(s). The entire back of one seriously muscley man was covered with scenes from Terminator 2.

I didn't reply to his mail.

I learned that replying because you feel a little bit sorry for someone is not a good idea. That first week, I had sent a mess of pity mails and most of them got the hint. One did not, and when I finally did the intelligent thing and blanked him -- well, you would have liked to have seen his response: bitter, foul and abusive.

I blocked him and reported him. This is something I would never do in the real world and I'm finding this all very liberating. Something new for the skill set.

I am expanding my skills in other ways, too, because -- going back to the young lads -- you have to be dead careful about how you say things. So the words 'hard', 'come' and 'head', for example, have been removed from my vocabulary, and replaced with similar words which have no sexual connotation.

But sometime I forget. I had been chatting with a young lad (23 -- the girls think this is great, but I feel a wee bit dirty), who was deeply into his bodybuilding. A coffee couldn't really hurt, could it? Even if he was so young.

He asked me if I was free to meet for a drink that night. No, not exactly: it was midnight on a Monday and I was in my dressing gown. I said that I'd had a hard day, and he replied that he was 'more than able to make my evening even harder'.

Blocked. I don't mind that kind of talk if it's being whispered in my ear somewhere inappropriate, to make it extra dirty, like in church, but on the email? Something about reading it in words is nasty.

There is one young lad I may give a go, though. He's 25 (I feel less bad about a 13-year age difference than a 15-year age difference), teaches PE in a school somewhere on the southside, and is so fit it is almost painful to look at his pictures. He seems very polite and respectful, and it appears that he doesn't think every woman on the web is a porn queen.

There is, sadly, a lack of witty repartee that you do get with the older fellas. I've got one of them on the boil as well ...