Might as well start work on my CV, I suppose. Right, education. Well, I've a Masters in Economics from Oxford, so that should definitely go in.
Should I mention that my hobbies include stirring things up?
Nah, better go with "long walks on the beach".
This CV is almost finished -- it's eight pages long, single spaced.
And I haven't even got to 'dearest hopes and ambitions' yet.
Look through the Appointments section. It only runs to one page these days -- who knew there was a recession going on?
Ah, I see McDonald's is hiring. I could go for some sort of corporate consultancy role or something like that.
Get this -- there was a queue for the McDonald's job that stretched halfway down the street.
What kind of lunacy is this? And it's for some menial sort of position.
I'm still going for the interview, just to prove that I'm 100pc employable.
The interview went rather well. I told them that I'm prepared to travel for the job. But not to Mayo.
They said that travel wasn't necessary in this role.
I got the job! Manager of a key branch of McDonald's!
It's everything I ever dreamed it would be.
On second thoughts, before you could say, "would you like fries with that?" I told them that I wouldn't be taking the job.
It was merely an experiment to prove that I could do it if I wanted to.
Or this is how it would be if we were Richard Bruton