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The secret life of Eddie Hobbs

Sunday

To really get bang for your buck, try turning off the mains in the evenings, like they used to do in Eastern bloc countries in the communist era to save on the national grid.

Monday

Don't judge us on the first episode of The Consumer Show, just because we shaved expenses for actors by getting some RTE colleagues' kids to throw mobile phones down the toilet to test their durability. Next week, we'll have some bona fide material, thanks to you, the consumer.

Tuesday

Our researcher says there are some real gems coming through from you, the viewers, on the extortionate fees charged by some GPs.

Wednesday

I've had a eureka moment! Save your precious pennies by never ever going to the doctor at all. Just get all your medical advice off Google.

Thursday

Sick of the banks? Don't wash that ubiquitous stray sock under your bed just yet. Just tell the good wife what you've done, otherwise she'll be giving out to you about all the loose change in the washing machine.

Friday

You can make real savings by getting a graphic artist from The Den to do your set design. So what if all those primary colours are like something from Playschool? It's saved 0.00067pc of your licence fee. It's your money.

Saturday

Time for golf. And instead of paying through the nostrils for green fees, I pretend to caddy for a friend and then start playing once I'm on the course.

It's just smart personal finance.

Or this is how it would be if we were Eddie Hobbs


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