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The secret life of Claudine Keane


Go through the camera and organise the holiday photos. To the untrained lens -- I mean, eye -- we might've looked as though we were enjoying ourselves, with not a care in the world. Well, it was no South Africa, I can tell you that.


And so the merry-go-round of interviews begins. How many bland soundbites will I come out with, just to sell a few bras? If only I could tell Xpose and co what I'm really thinking. Here goes.


Underwear models are usually required to be blonde, tanned and scantily clad. Luckily, I tick all three boxes, which is why Ultimo picked me to flog their wares.

But I also have a degree from UCD, before you judge me for wearing underwear as outerwear.


All the speculation about my baby weight falling off me was intrusive, but I remain philosophical about it. Mostly because I landed a lingerie contract out of it.


Who does Robbie play for again? I hate football. I much prefer rugby. My only quibble with it is that Amy Huberman looked so pale on her wedding day. Don't be afraid of that fake tan, Amy, is what I say.


My mum is like my sister. And Ultimo, if you're reading this, I'm sure she'd love a bra contract. Just like mine. FYI, we're, like, even the same size!


Phew, thank God that's over. It's tough being the thinking footballer's WAG. Now all I need is a gig on Xpose.