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So, No king-size tub of ice-cream, kelly?

Kelly Brook seems curiously unshaken after her recent break-up with toyboy Danny Cipriani. The relationship lasted almost two years but there have been no tears or tantrums, no navel-gazing or soul-searching, since they called it a day.

On the contrary, Brook has been enjoying the beaches of Barbados on what has become the 'Look What You're Missing' tour. There's been endless bikini changes, all manner of water activities and a string of centrefold-style poses.

Among the posturing was a Baywatch-esque jog on the beach, a reflective moment as she knelt in the surf (back arched, boobs out) and my favourite: a picture of her wistfully steering a yacht into the harbour. She'll be furious when she finds the paparazzi were poised the whole time to chronicle her bikini-ed adventures and splash the pictures on newspapers worldwide.

Just as well she had her hair blow-dried and her make-up perfectly applied for the close-ups.

Brook's holiday is the perfect celebrity break-up. No grieving for lost love or slumping around the house reading old Valentine's cards and waiting for text messages that will never come. They pick themselves up, dust themselves down and don their most revealing attire for the Public Display of Liberation, an arrow straight at the ex-lover's heart.

Think of Cheryl Cole's visit to Cannes in the wake of her husband's alleged infidelity. She hit the red carpet wearing a white Versace, bandage-style dress, cut to the navel and split to the thigh.

Jennifer Aniston announced her independence from Brad Pitt by appearing on the cover of GQ magazine naked save for a men's tie and splayed across two bronzed Adonises.

When Sven-Goran Eriksson's transgression with Ulrika Jonsson surfaced, his then-partner, Nancy Dell'Olio, donned her highest shoes and fixed a gravity-defying hairstyle before she faced the paparazzi. When they asked her how she felt, she blithely replied, "fantastico".

It's a well-worn cliche that women go to ground after a break-up, soothing our woes with family-sized tubs of ice cream and lurching about the house in oversized tracksuit bottoms.

Wrong. A break-up is a time for reinvention. We up the ante in the grooming department to remind the ex what he's kissed goodbye to and show the rest of the male populace what they could have.

We embark on what's known as the 'I'll Show Him' diet, because every woman knows there is no better appetite suppressant than the sickening knowledge that the ex is snuggling up with another.

Next comes the 'Look What You're Missing' makeover; every woman knows there's no better feeling than "bumping into" the ex when you're looking like a million dollars.

Kelly Brook's beachside frolicking might seem childish and her attempts to stir jealousy in her ex are pretty obvious, but we've all been there. Her countless bikini changes are the average woman's post break-up shopping sprees, her paparazzi shots akin to our overly-enthusiastic Facebook status reports.

This is textbook break-up behaviour: a two-fingered salute with a front-door face. You've got to love it.


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