I've always been cool with public displays of affection (PDAs) as they can be cute.
But there is a line you do not cross. My parents will be married 40 years this November and they still like to hold hands, not all the time, of course, but, when it's appropriate, they can be, and are, physically affectionate (I mean holding hands and a kiss on the cheek, just in case there is any confusion here).
Russell Brand and Katy Perry they are not.
Of course, one would hope that any couple who have been together for four decades may indeed be Perry/Brand-esque in private, but, apart from normal PDAs that embarrass no-body, that's the way my parents have always kept it -- private.
One has to allow for a honeymoon period, so the fact that Brand and Perry only wed last October may explain why they are so graspy in each other's company -- but why on the red carpet? It smacks of attention-seeking behaviour, particularly given recent reports that they are allegedly seeking couple counselling just months after the big 'do'.
Their 'locking lips' display at the Grammys this weekend past means that they have officially entered 'notice me' territory -- snogging the face off one another in front of the cameras should really be a no no.
I don't think I've executed a PDA of that level since my clubbing days.
I did once get kicked out of Merrion Square for behaving "inappropriately", but, in my defence, I was in a school uniform at the time. Which meant I was definitely under the age of 20 and not married to a former sex addict.
I think we are reverting to a period of 'less is more' in every which way. Flaunting anything these days, and not just cash, will be considered crass. And when it comes to sex, or even just romance, then it's call-the-cops territory. (In my case it was the park ranger who got the call of the wild and booted us out of the park.)
And Russell, considering my own run-ins with authority, if you’re ever in any need of adviceon PDAs, feel free to give me a call. But only during office hours.