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Modern love throws money and power on the balance

"Money and emotions are so intertwined that any change in a financial situation often has nothing to do with money, but is about a balance of power in the relationship," said Ginita Wal, an expert on the subject of women and money. Which is why the tired old line that Leona Lewis (below) has split with her long-term boyfriend due to the "pressures of fame" sounds like a load of old guff.

The only problem with fame in this kind of situation is that she's famous and he's not. Her childhood sweetheart Lou Al-Chamaa is a former electrician-turned Sony Music talent scout, who allegedly became tired of 25-year-old Lewis's constant travelling and decided it would be best to part company.

Naturally enough, the physical distance that her gruelling schedule must have caused took its toll on the romance too. However, the fact that Lewis suddenly became more powerful, more successful, a hell of a lot richer than her guy and became a global star meant that this relationship was ultimately doomed.

The chances are that Lewis's boyfriend felt sidelined and no matter how much she tried to keep the romance going it simply had no future.

And, equally, I can honestly admit that I've always instinctively been attracted to men who are high achievers, charismatic and can teach me new things. Throw in a good sense of humour and kindness, and I think the boxes would be ticked for most females. I couldn't care less how much a guy earns but let's just say that as a pretty strong and independent female, I need to be with an equally strong and independent man if a relationship is to go anywhere.

I remember dating one really nice guy some years back. He was handsome, older than me, had travelled and was resourceful. But in my view he lacked ambition. The attraction was there all right, but the balance was just all wrong. A good pal of mine asked me as I got ready for one of our dates at the early stages of the relationship if I was nervous. When I laughed and replied "not even slightly", she raised her eyebrow -- the eyebrow in question basically said "that guy ain't gonna go the distance honey".

I think modern women are feminists who still want an alpha-male type. But if the woman becomes the power-house then you can kiss goodbye to that relationship. >Dee O'Keeffe


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