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Can you really tame a wild dog with games of tit for tat?

I love the phrase 'tamed', mainly because when it is applied to a man it makes me laugh out loud -- yet that's what singer Katy Perry claims she has done to her fiance, the comedian, actor and broadcaster Russell Brand.

Posing almost naked in the new issue of Esquire, it's not hard to see what caught Brand's eye with Katy, but some of the quotes from the accompanying interview make my skin crawl.

The implication is that he was feral before they met and, given the estimated number of women he is rumoured to have slept with per month (80 on average) before Perry "tamed" him, you can imagine the strong leash she feels the need to keep him on by posing in risque photo shoots.

She told him "you've met your match" when they first bumped into one another and he hit on her and then . . . she apparently "made him wait for sex". All of the above is proof that there is such a thing as too much information.

As a proper grown-up, I don't think sex should be used as an instrument of torture. Either you want to get it on with someone that you click with when you meet, or you don't.

Ms Perry also described her husband-to-be as a "professional prostitute" before he thoughtfully embraced monogamy on the night they met. Wow, their kids are gonna love what Mammy had to say about Daddy before they got married.

"He was a heroin addict and now he's not," admitted Katy. "He was addicted to all kinds of things and now he's not. And he basically used to be a professional prostitute and now he's not," she said. "So he's an extremist, which can be both good and bad." You think?

Whilst I have a slight cynical streak, I adore an honest to goodness love story, but talking about your husband-to-be in these terms is far from convincing. Perry admits that they are both exhibitionists and with both their careers on the ascendant, what with her best-selling song of the year and his new Hollywood movie, the competition will be fierce.

One other cringe-worthy quote relates to her support of West Ham. Perry said it has helped her to get through to Brand.

"I always like hitting that deep spot, and I knew that West Ham was a deep spot for Russell,' she said in the accompanying interview. Well, my Pops is passionate about the GAA but I doubt either him or Mammy O'Keeffe would consider it a "deep spot".

I wish Perry and Brand well but I ain't betting my house on this one lasting. >Dee O'Keeffe


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