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Dear Rosanna: I love my man but why can't he satisfy me?

Q I DON'T know what more I can do to slow things down in the bedroom. I light candles, play soft music and talk sweetly, and yet still sex is over in a matter of minutes. My boyfriend and I have argued so much about foreplay that I can honestly say we've become more passionate about fighting about sex than we are at having it.

When anyone makes a smutty joke he laughs the loudest and like he's some kind of stud but he's far from it. Of course, I would never say this. I love him but the lack of sexual satisfaction has me really frustrated and irritable.

A This is an issue that must be worked out quickly before it starts to really strain the relationship. You love this man, so it is understandably important for you to want to enjoy a fulfilling sex life with him. After all, it's a big part of a loving relationship and it goes much further than just satisfying a sexual desire. It's about feeling close to and loved

by your partner. It sounds as if you both have different ideas about what you want in the bedroom. You want much more than a quick thrill! Rather than being irritable and suffering alone, I strongly advise you to speak seriously to your boyfriend about this. Really emphasise how crucial it is to your relationship and make him understand that without sexual satisfaction, the relationship may not survive for very long. I think he just needs to understand the depth of the problem. Don't be afraid to be firm with him.







Q I was at a school reunion a few weeks ago and one of the girls -- I should really say woman as we're in our late-20s now -- was on the floor drunk by the end of the night. I was helping her hail a taxi when she started talking about an incident in school when money was stolen from one of the girls' school bags. I was never accused of stealing the money, but I always felt people suspected me. This woman confessed to stealing the money and apologised that everyone thought it was me. I am devastated and wonder what, if anything, I can do to salvage my reputation at this point.

A It must be a relief for you to finally hear the truth, albeit in an unusual situation in which this woman may not have planned to confess. However, this incident with the stolen money presumably happened many years ago and will have been long forgotten by all involved. While you were very upset at the idea that people thought you were the thief, I doubt that it really did ruin your reputation as it was all just speculation and nothing was ever proven. Unless you will lose sleep until this issue has been made public knowledge, I would advise to let bygones be bygones. Feel relieved that you have reached some sort of closure by receiving an apology from this woman and move on with your life.

Q How can I tell if a guy sending me texts is interested in me? He started texting me about an outing a group of us were going on to confirm arrangements. It was a great day and afterwards he texted to say what a great time he'd had. He has texted several times since about changes going on in a sports club we both belong to. I finally texted to suggest we meet for a drink and a chat, but he ignored this and came back with a funny text about a programme on telly. He has texted twice since but no mention of us meeting.

A The very fact that he has been texting you so frequently suggests he is interested. He may be playing hard to get, which is why he ignored your invitation for a drink. But silly games are so unnecessary and tiring. My advice is to let him make the next move if that's what he wants. But give him the benefit of the doubt, he may be shy, and ignoring your offer is his way of letting things pan out slowly.


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