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Dear Roasanna

QI've discovered my boyfriend has been texting another girl in our group. He swears it's to do with organising an 18th birthday party for a friends of ours, but I've heard the other girl has asked him to stop messaging her because she feels disloyal to me.

When I approached her, she said that it was nothing flirty and was just a lot of chat about music and stuff, but that he had been texting her late at night. I think he has been trying to sound her out, what do you think?

AFrom what you have told me, this is an issue you need to raise with your boyfriend as soon as possible and you must insist that he is completely honest with you.

This other girl is not going to be keen to admit to you if something has been going on behind your back, but it's encouraging to hear that she asked him to stop contacting her out of respect for you.

You need to be firm with your boyfriend and ask him exactly what he was discussing with this girl. If they're busy organising a birthday party, then why didn't he involve you as well?

I don't recommend that you go through his texts behind his back, but he should have no problem showing them to you if he has nothing to hide.

You have every right to know exactly why he has been texting her, but do give him the benefit of the doubt and let him explain himself before you reach any final conclusions.

Best of luck.

QI'm thrilled to have just got a job in a local restaurant because my first year in college is turning out to be expensive and my parents are keen for me to start paying for my social life.

The owner is a married man who is a lot older than me and every time he passes by me he puts his hands on my waist. The last time he gave me a squeeze and told me not to eat too many chips and then laughed.

I don't like him touching me but I am afraid to say anything to the other girls because what if they think I'm a bit silly and that he is harmless. But when I think of him doing it again I feel sick.

AThis man has absolutely no right to touch your body and make inappropriate comments about your diet or weight. Who does he think he is! I'm sure you're well able to take a joke, but you didn't like the way this man made you feel, and rightly so. His behaviour was wholly inappropriate, particularly as this man is your employer and you should feel safe, secure and valued in your working environment.

I would urge you to tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him touching you. You must stand up for yourself and ensure this never happens again, or else consider walking away from the job if it does.

It's simply not worth it. Others respect you more for standing up for yourself.

QMy best friend is losing weight very quickly, and has started to look really skinny. She was slim for a short while after being a tiny bit overweight. But the other day, we went shopping and when she was trying on a top I could see the bones in her back and they were really shocking. I asked her if she was eating anything at all and she told me everything was cool. I think she might have an eating disorder. Should I tell her mum? I am 14 and I don't want to risk losing my best friend.

AI definitely think this is a topic which must be approached delicately and tactfully.

However, I also feel that it's your obligation and duty to not just sit back and watch her risk her health.

The responsible thing to do is to alert her mother to her weight loss and allow her to deal with it in whatever way she feels is appropriate. My advice is to either meet or arrange to speak to her mum in confidence and express your concerns.

She may suggest that you both speak to your friend together or she may want to handle it from there. The most important thing is that you've played you part and your friend will get looked after by somebody who cares for her wellbeing.


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