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Ask Rosanna: He's hooked on Viagra at just 32

Q MY boyfriend was very tired from work and took some Viagra to give him more stamina in the bedroom. It certainly did the job and I could see he was dead chuffed with himself. However, four months later, he is still taking Viagra.

He's only 32, so I don't think he should be taking a sexual aid at his age. I've told him to go to see the doctor, but he refuses to, and I think he feels too embarrassed to discuss his performance or lack of it in the bedroom. It's making me feel less desired, too, that he has to pop a pill to have sex with me.

A This is obviously a sensitive issue for him, but one that you need to discuss as a couple. While Viagra has its place in boosting sexual performance for those who really need it, I do agree with you that your boyfriend is too young to be taking the pill so regularly. It sounds as if he has become reliant on it and has probably lost confidence in his own abilities without it.

I strongly advise that he gets to the root of his issue rather than masking it with Viagra, so a doctor's appointment is important. Medical professionals are well used to dealing with such problems, so he shouldn't feel embarrassed.

You could suggest you accompany him for support. It may be stress-related, and fatigue is clearly an issue, too, so encourage him to really focus on his health, ensuring regular sleeping patterns and good nutrition. He may want to consider meditation, exercise or deep breathing techniques to lower his stress levels.

Q I've never had a great body image and was tubby when I was a teenager. When I was 18, I went on a really serious diet and lost way too much weight. I was like a bag of bones. Then I started comfort-eating when a relationship broke up in my early 20s and I grew to a size 16. I was a size 12 when I met my husband in my mid-20s and had my first baby more than a year ago and am now a size 14. I also have lots of stretch marks and my tummy is very wobbly. I'm telling you all this because I can't bear to take my clothes off in front of my husband any more and it's causing terrible rows. I feel so fat and self-conscious, but my husband says I'm only 29 and way too young to be hiding under the duvet.

A I can completely appreciate how you're feeling, because women are under such intense pressure to conform to an 'ideal' body image. Your weight has greatly fluctuated in the past few years and has been a reflection of all you've gone through, so it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.

While I do not believe that your husband is right to force you into undressing in front of him, I do think that it's important for you to focus on building up your self-esteem, and this will help you to avoid unnecessary arguments.

While we all want to look good, your overall health and how you feel inside must be prioritised. My advice is to concentrate on building up your health and fitness with a nutritious diet and an exercise regime. This, in turn, will boost your self-confidence and ensure that you feel great from the inside out.

I recommend you treat this as a lifestyle change rather than a faddy diet.

QI've been going on internet dates lately in the hope of finally meeting a man I can have a real relationship with. I was only meeting flakey guys in pubs and clubs. The problem is I don't know who should pay on a first date when you've arranged to meet up with someone on a dating site. I've always been of the opinion that a man should pay for the first date and, after that, a woman can pay her way. But I'm finding men expect me to go Dutch on the first date. I asked one guy and he said the rules are different when a woman advertises herself online.

AWhile it's certainly nice for the man to pay for a meal on the first date, I do think it's more important to pay less attention to the supposed 'rules' of dating and instead focus on your own situation. With the growing popularity of internet dating, these rules and the types of dates people choose to go on are constantly changing and evolving.

Depending on where you choose to go for dinner and what type of a night it is, you may decide to split the bill, or one of you cover the food and the other buy the drinks.

It is always polite to offer to pay for at least something during the course of the evening, and I'm confident that a man would very much

appreciate it. The worst thing that a woman can do is to go out and expect everything to be bought for her. That's really poor manners, in my opinion.


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