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10 ways your inner bitch can bring a better life


Picture posed by model

Picture posed by model

Picture posed by model

ANNA Coogan on a new book which says that the secret of success starts with giving yourself a good talking to

Are you sitting on the sofa watching an episode of Come Dine With Me you've seen before, but can't seem to switch off? It's the television equivalent of a Big Mac and fries, says Ruth Field, a 37-year-old former criminal barrister and mum of toddler twins who has written a new book called Get Your Sh!t Together.

She's best known as the author of Run Fat B!tch Run, which told us that to get fit we must accept that we are fat bitches who need to start running, and, like, really fast.

Yikes, she's back with her take-no-prisoners attitude and this time Field is urging us to quit bitching and moaning about other people's inadequacies and instead to unleash our Inner Bitch on our own shortcomings and failings for a change.

Brace yourselves, because with her no-nonsense attitude, Field points out how laziness and procrastination are stopping us from reaching our true potential. She writes, "A good life, a really productive life, exists because of all the action that is taken daily to sustain it."

Her new book, Get Your Sh!t Together: Your Prescription For A Simpler Life, outlines 10 attitudes which could be holding you back from getting ahead, and what you need to do to change if you want a better life.

And The Grit Doctor, as she likes to call her bullying alter ego, once again wants you to connect with your Inner Bitch and to let her give you a terrific bollocking before driving you to make changes.

Field writes: "To find her, I want you to bring to mind someone or something that has incensed you beyond belief. Dwell on it/him/her for a few minutes and indulge in that feeling of simmering rage. See how those nasty, venomous words are springing to your mind quite effortlessly. That is your Inner Bitch. It is very easy to locate her when she is directed against other people, or annoying situations. In the quest for sh*t together-ness, I want you to turn that sharp-tongued assassin inward, to exert the force necessary to eject you from the sofa and into action."

Okay, are you ready from some home truths on why your life might not be the one you want?

1. Lights, Camera, Action!

The Grit Doctor says: The essence of getting your sh*t together is being in action

Unless you exert force on your lazy motionless ass, your life is never going to change. Get into the habit of doing things – the physical things necessary to get stuff done – as and when they arise, and out of the habit of over-thinking yourself into a stupor and putting things off until later.

2. Help Yourself

The Grit Doctor says: Use and abuse all resources at your disposal

Don't waste inordinate amounts of time worrying and thinking about a problem. It's arrogant and stupid. Instead, use the most vital resource available to you: other people. Delegating tasks to other people reduces stress and increases efficiency. Don't worry about taking advantage, just accept that you'll also be taken advantage of too.

3. Feng Shuit

The Grit Doctor says: Manage the mess

Be ruthless when it comes to clearing – it is both emotionally cathartic and practical. New cohabitees have a brilliant opportunity to tackle this head on, because the difficult task of melding your homes into a single space necessitates the brutal process of picking and choosing what stays and what has to go.

4. Time, Time, Time

The Grit Doctor says: The clock is not your problem

Once you are in action, your actions generate more actions which generate a good feeling when they are completed. Happy hormones are stimulated and you therefore have more energy for more action. This may be one reason why really busy people operating in high-level jobs and working insane hours, still seem to be able to do a million times more than the rest of us, and are also rarely if ever heard to say, "I don't have enough time, I can't do this."

5. Who Am I?

The Grit Doctor says: You are not special

Anyone who has spent even five minutes telling a stranger at a dinner party that they are 'in therapy' and have 'issues' around commitment because their parents got divorced should do everyone a favour and pipe down. Self-obsessing in a therapist's chair will not help you to love yourself. Giving that hour over to the service of others will.

6. Stop Talking Sh*t

The Grit Doctor says: Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk

Your Inner Bitch hates it when you talk sh*t and so always causes a degree of anxiety within you. You often try to silence this feeling with cake, drink or whatever numbing food is at hand rather than facing up to the fact that you're talking sh*t. Meanwhile, not walking the talk makes you look weak and unreliable.

7. Circumstantial Evidence

The Grit Doctor says: Stop playing the blame game

Circumstances such as crap parents, being a skint single mum, your husband leaving you for another woman, or your dog dying, can become excuses that you rely on to avoid getting important sh*t done.

8. Love Thy Neighbour

The Grit Doctor says: Stop being a bitch

If you are holding a grudge of any kind, whether you've held it for 10 years or a few days, and no matter how big or small you consider it to be, it is holding you back. It is preventing you from Getting Your Sh!t Together because it is eating away at your energy levels.

9. Green Grass Thinking

The Grit Doctor says: Envy is ugly

No whingeing and no complaining about your life. You chose it and if you are not happy with it, then do something about it. If someone has told you it is all you are capable of, well then this is bullsh*t. Our limits are those we artificially place upon ourselves.

10. Having It All

The Grit Doctor says: No such thing

The truth is that there is no such effing thing as having it all. Every choice involves a sacrifice; choosing involves losing, remember. So, in the context of the 'having it all' debate, the idea that a woman is having it all by working full-time and raising her babies is a fallacy. One of those jobs has to be outsourced – temporarily perhaps, or part-time, but outsourced nonetheless.

Get Your Sh!t Together; Your Prescription For A Simpler Life, by Ruth Field, is published by Sphere, price €8.99.